Ummm...just a few quick question. Why does she have to go by herself? Why aren't you going, too? It sounds like you're just running parallel lives. How are you working to make your paths cross more often and where is the motivation for your wife to change?
What’s the story behind the “cruse”. Did she come home one day and say I going on a cruse? Were you invited but refused? If you were not invited, I would go on the family vacation in NC. Ya need to get out. I can guarantee if you stay home while she is on the cruse you will have too much idle time to think about her on the cruse and bad days are sure to follow. If your W hinted at all that she would have liked you to go I would get cruse tickets.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Matilda, OTB, Yoyo, and Husband, Thanks for your comments, questions, and support.
I was not asked to accompany her on the cruise. She sorely needs an extended vacation, so I hope she gets some much needed rest, so that she can face her problems when she returns.
We practiced dancing twice this week. She thinks I'm doing wonderfully. We've had dinner together at a restaurant twice this week.
There was a strange situation this evening. She had her friend who does computer consulting at the house to work on our computers. He was there when I left for dancing at 9:30PM. I returned around midnight.
When I came home, he was giving my W a neck massage. I asked him a question about my car audio, and chatted briefly. He then told my W that it was "time to split." They left to go somewhere.
He's over the house every few weeks to work on the computer. He also asked my W to visit his sister in Japan this spring. She declined the trip, as she didn't want to be stuck there, if the trip didn't work out. I also know that she went skiing with him this past winter.
They didn't seem upset that I came home early from dancing. She also was nonchalant about leaving with him.
I'm not sure what to make of this, or what to do with it. It doesn't seem like a romance, but it sure seems like at least a friendship.
She bought items at the hardware store, to work on the hardwood floors, and fix-up her office/recreation room.
When I was leaving for work this morning, she called me "sweetie." I haven't heard that in a long time. She also patted me on the head.
My situation sure is confusing.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Was it a GW night? Did she say anything when she left (like "see up later")? Does she tell you when she isn't planning on coming home? Does she just walk back in the door like it's a normal occurance to spend the night elsewhere?
It does seem awfully confusing!! You have made such great progress it seems. I love the way you seem so calm, cool, and confident. Yet do you still have fears? What has Susan Jeffers' book said to you?
Don't know what to make of the leaving part. But where I work there are alot of people working on Computers. I myself have given neck massages to some of the females there. I have not had or are planning tohave an affair with any of them. My only advise is to try your hardest to show her you care and not let her leave on this cruse with any bad feeling twards you to think about while she is away. Just happy thoughts.....
great to hear you kept your cool. I don't know how I would have handled the leaving together part. You are stronger than I
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Husband's post gave me an idea for you: what if you did a surprise night for her right before her cruise? Plan a night out that she won't forget. Send her off thinking of only you and what she is missing!
Matilda and Husband, Thanks for your comments, advice, and support.
I like what H advises regarding having my W leave on her cruise with fond memories of me. It's important that we remain on good terms, and that our time together be positive.
Am I afraid? I think I fear the possibility of going thru a major upheaval. This in-house separation is difficult, but at least the rest of my life is stable. A D would involve possibly having to leave my home.
There is a dance tonight with a live band, at an old theater. I'm a little nervous since it's not my usual venue, but I told my W I was going. I think she's looking forward to me being there. She told me that I'm ready to dance with the best ladies our community has to offer! I need to keep branching-out.
She seems to be appreciating me more as a practice partner. I listen and utilize feedback she offers. I'm able to "iron out wrinkles, thanks to her." Her other dance partner does not accept her feedback, and therefore holds onto some bad habits. He wants to be the teacher, and she the student. She has outgrown that role, and wants a more collaborative relationship. She is frustrated with him and plans on cutting down on their practice time.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Cl Good luck at the dance.9 don'tknow if it's a good idea but she left ya open for the line " I am already dancing with one of the best ladies in town" It may be too soon to much. One thing I have noticed. the more nice things I do for her she is strting to do some back. I make sure the things I do I DON"T make a big deal out of. I DON'T point it out. I think if I did then It would look like I was EXPECTING something in return. Good luck with the Good memory feeling send off..
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
