Also, I would say that most of the time I was wanting my 2bx in particular and not just sex in general. I'm strongly monogamous so when I'm "in love" with a man my sexuality tends to focus on him alone. I didn't even MB to thoughts of other men until I was able to dismantle my dysfunctional attachment to my 2bx.
Wow, that is not me at all. I guess I don't understand why/how you would use your H as part of your fantasy life after he makes the awful comments he did. I used it as escape. Not that my H ever talked nasty to me, but he did make me feel unattractive with his avoidance. Just seems odd to me.
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OTOH, I am strongly object-oriented for a woman so it wouldn't necessarily be the case that I would be thinking about his "touch and caress". I might be thinking about his biceps and his cute *ss.
Interesting. I never had that type of R with my H. I am sort of envious. I never had a strong sexual attraction to him. Or him to me I guess. I loved him for other reasons. No wonder our SL is always such a struggle. Rats.
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I think the HDW on the BB have never really been able to adequately communicate the difference between being with a guy who is LD and one who is HD. Maybe I can try again since I was with HD guys in my youth then spent decades with my LDH and recently was with a couple relatively HD guys again (although whether I was actually sexual with both of them would depend on whether you follow Bill Clinton's rules - lol ) When you're with a HD guy it's like you are being led or even propelled through the encounter.
That last sentence is so true. I never feel like that with my H. He can approach me now for sex I guess but I would never use the word "propelled." He wanted to have sex last night but his approach was so "weak", for lack of a better word, that I just got turned off. I was at least nice about it I think but it annoyed me. It's like I don't believe in his actions. I feel like he is just doing it because we just had that blow up and he wants to do the right thing. While that is good, it does not equate with sexy. So I get stuck again in my unfulfilled expectations. It just seems impossible at times for a HD woman to get needs met from a LD guy, even when he is trying, because the forced trying defeats the whole point I guess. I want him to want to, and that is just not the case. I am really setting myself up for failure here so don't feel the need to point it out, I get it. But it just IS. LFL
