My husband informed me a few months ago that he was unhappy. When he first told me, he cried along with me and said that he wanted to make things work just the same as me, so I found this promising and was happy to do whatever I could. His unhappiness stemmed from household chores that he didn't think I was maintaining well enough. We had discussed chores throughout the years, but he never clearly explained that he wished for something different from me than I was assuming. Thus, I never lived up to his wishes and he continued to be unhappy and then it exploded.
Well, he also has a lot on his plate and many of these things came to a head right about when he told me that he thought we should separate. He was taking the GMAT and didn't do as well as he wished, an elderly neighbor of ours was dying of cancer and they were very close, his job was creating lots of stress, his sister's ex-boyfriend is threatening to kill her - crazy, I know!, his aunt unexpectedly passed away of a neurological disorder that he may be at risk for having and the prognosis is that most don't live past their 30s...he's 29.
My thought is that this is a MLC and he is able to control the marriage portion, so he feels it is necessary to take me out of his life and then that will be one less stress in his life. I'm also toying with the Depression symptoms. He has been taking Adderall for the past few months too for testing anxiety (after he didn't do well on his GMAT). I'm concerned and can't help but think that this drug has made him focus more on the unhappy things in his life rather than helping him maintain a balance between the happy and unhappy.
I'm trying the 'back-door' approach with him by putting him in fun situations without him knowing that I'm doing it on purpose. We're at the point where, we've had a million discussions on this and we talk in circles. I have learned not to push anymore, but I feel SO hopeless. We went to a therapist one time, and he hated it and told me he wouldn't go back. He won't go to anyone for help b/c he feels that what he knows is in his heart and he's terrified of someone telling him that he is wrong.
He has started painting our house and buying new light fixtures in an effort to sell the house by the end of summer. I am trying to drag my feet and hopefully he will start to see clearly before we have to move forward. Ok, I know this is painfully long, but I really need some support......
