Mornin everyone a new day has arrived Yes my W did have a physical affair. I know it may be hard for people to understand but I still love her. Her A was with a guy she went out with before we got married. So it’s not like she just picked up someone in a bar. For that matter she had sex with him before me. YES once we were married I gave my vow that basically my body was her and hers alone. And I expected the same from her. And I do believe that if she had not had sex with this guy in the past it would not have happened. I do hurt when I think about them together. Now this might sound weird aside from the physical part I am kind of glad it happened. Yes things were ok with our marriage. I was so busy providing for and taking care of my family that I lost track of my needs and hers. It’s like kids that grow up in an abusive family. They have always been around it so they don’t know any better. I had “settled” for what I thought was a day to day hum drum married life. I forgot my W and I were once lovers. If this would not have happened I would have not GAL. I would still be getting up going to work coming home and starting all over again the next day. Yes it is a high price to pay but it did open my eyes. I have also become a “preacher” for marriage. I have had talks to my married male friends asking them “when was the last time you and the W had a night out with just to two of ya.” Don’t be a robot like I was. I know where this guy lives and works I have enough stuff on him that I could make his life miserable. I could make him lose his job and family. But I had told my W when this all started I would not contact him. Inside I feel that this would push her farther away from me. Like my vows I keep my word. There is only one reason I would break that word and that is if he were to ever hurt her. I know my W was the one who “gave permission” to this guy to assist in ruing my family but like someone has said here in the past. He could have seen she was unhappy and said NO. What my W doesn’t under stand is that if he really did care for her he would not want to destroy her family. He would have TALKED to her. I know if any female friend came to me. I would have let her vent her problems and asked her if she wanted me to talk to her partner. I would not have just sat there pretending to listen thinking ya ya ya let scr*w. I am trying to file the physical part away. I will NEVER be able to forget it. My W and I have not had any Physical contact since the A. That is going to be a turning point. At that time I will know if we can really get past this. 789 & Simonw From all of this I have learned that I can not say anymore what I would if such and such happened. I USED to think if my W had an affair no questions asked she’d be out in the street. Now my response will always be I don’t know what I would do if that happens. Because I truly don’t.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
