He is mad because it helps validate what he's doing. He HAS to be mad at you and see you as the "bad person" so he can feel he's doing is the right thing. So when he can paint you in a negative light he will -- and he will blame you for everything he can! Actually, you are playing into exactly what he wants.This helps him feel better about himself and OW. There is probably very little you can say or do right now that will make him see logically what he's doing to hurt the kids or how falsely he's misrepresenting your behavior, words and feelings.
I think because you are too emotionally involved and taking all of this so personally you might be better off distancing yourself and avoiding contact. Perhaps you can limit all contact to email. For the first few months of the divorce, there were times I had to do this. The anger and hatred from my husband was just too thick and it was pretty painful for me too. When it hurts too badly you need to get distance.
All correspondence really can be done over email. You just need to make sure you don't "chase" after your husband, beg him to see "reason" (because he won't for quite awhile!!!), and keep a civil business-like attitude.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
