against my better judgement i searched for H on skype. (he had said before to me : hey i am on skype maybe we can chat". strange. he lives a mile away and we can call each others cell phones for free. )
anyway, not only did i find him but he totally filled out the profile (which most people dont do. they just state gender and location). So besides his bday, age , gender, location, he has down italian as his lang. and wrote under the pers info part: "do you want to learn italian?"
just kinda icky and sad. such a lame attempt to chat with women imho. interesting thing is how he puts himself in the position to "teach" . Seems like another example to himself and the world that he is in control and doing great.
yuck. i knew should not have looked.
ok, one last comment. i was looking today at a pic of us from six years ago. His face was so different. It was so open , soft and "innocent". ok yeah he was not perfect. he had anger issues was impatient...BUT I realize that now, even though he acts so happy and in control, his face has this jaded, hard and guarded expression. it just made me sad. i really beleive that guy is still in there somewhere. even if it is not with me I am praying that he will find that part of himself again one day and integrate it with the more mature and wise H.
sigh.
brava
Me: 36 He: 34 no kids Married: 2000 He left: July 05
