Buy the foam, not the plastic ones...the plastic ones hurt if you lay on your side, the foam you don't feel at all. GEL, BB complained about all of them. My CPAP makes less noise than the air nozzles above a passenger, in an airplane.
I don't know Mrs. Choc. I hope she isn't as sensitive as some people.
GEL, It is good to hear the ear plugs worked well for you.
Me; what thunder storm? We had a thunderstorm last night???
Oh yeah, I'd almost credit them with a large portion of saving our marriage, or at least saving me from a count of manslaughter
My FIL has a CPAP as well, someday my H may need one too. He's also one who can sleep through just about any noise, but have a little lightening and he's wide awake LOL. He can't stand any light in a room when he's sleeping at all....I can handle light, just not noise...we are so totally opposite there, but fortunately we are learning to work around it.
Choc, if she's never tried earplugs...give em a shot, it's at the very least a very inexpensive thing to try.
She did work, VERY HARD, to get her certification, and is indeed a CPT. She's also doing very well with it, and is very diligent in her prep work at home and in her she approaches her work.
It is her inappropriate contact/conversation with one of her co-workers that has led, potentially, to "disaster" and that needs to stop. Problematic is also that everyone there is younger/singler and wants her to go out drinking with them all the time. Although she turns down 90% of those offers, the lifestyle is taking her focus off of her family, at a time when she should be drawing closer to them (especially to our boys, S14 and S10, now that D20 and D18 are going to be moving out of the house).
It's the foam ones that I use too, I get them from here at work and so does my H. We work around noisy shop floors and they COMPLETELY block out the noise my H makes. The ones I use are a spongy foam that you can squish down to fit inside just inside your ear canal...then they expand to block out all sound.
Last night I put them in while I was still watching Will & Grace (we watch that often right when we go to bed), the TV volume wasn't loud, but it wasn't low either, I couldn't hear a word they said, much less my H's snoring.
Last night I put them in while I was still watching Will & Grace (we watch that often right when we go to bed), the TV volume wasn't loud, but it wasn't low either, I couldn't hear a word they said, much less my H's snoring.
they COMPLETELY block out the noise my H makes. Here is where BB would say, no, they don't completely.....
Same or similar (yellow or white foam) ear plugs here GEL. BB claims she hears as well with them as without??????? My opinion is she is looking for perfect quietness.
Earplugs are rated in dB reduction if I remember correctly? I think I will look at a few brands to see which ones have the greatest dB reduction.
I told my CPAP service person BB also feels the air coming out the exhale port of my mask. The service person said she has heard that before but doesn’t have a fix. I took a small piece of foam from the air intake port and used it to wrap around the exhale port. That helped because the exhale air is diffused and does not leave the mask at one point and or in one direction.
BB doesn't like head phones or ear buds for more than an hour. I suppose she qualifies as one of those sensitive people Mrs. Cac4 was describing.
BB claims she hears as well with them as without???????
I've been using them for at least 10 years with great success. But you have to do it right.
BB is not pushing them in far enough. Insert each one separately You have to roll each one between your fingers and squish it down till it is as small as a fat strand of spaghetti-- really squish it. Then you quickly shove it as far into your ear as it will go. You have to do this very fast, because as soon as you release the earplug, it will start to return to its original shape.
Once it's in your ear, then hold it there with your finger until you can feel it start to "fluff" out again. As it does that, you will hear the volume on the outside world go down, down, down. There must not be any of it sticking out. It must be absolutely flush with your head, even concave. Don't worry about not being able to get it out. You can always grab enough of it with your fingernails to remove it.
If there is ANY part of the earplug sticking outside of your ear, it will be completely ineffective. Sometimes my bf's snoring will wake me up, and I'll notice that one of the earplugs has worked its way out just a little. I'll get a new one out of the jar and reinsert it. When inserted deeply and properly the snoring will be hardly noticeable.
I'll use the same ones for a few nights and then throw them away. Their springiness diminishes after a few uses. She should get a big jar of them at Walgreen's. The ones in the gun department at Wal-mart are very good, but I've only seen packages of a few. These are terrific on airplanes.
Originally Posted By: Lou
BB doesn't like head phones or ear buds for more than an hour. I suppose she qualifies as one of those sensitive people Mrs. Cac4 was describing.
I'm also a Highly Sensitive Person. When these are used properly you can barely feel them. The silence, the comfortable sleep-- that counts for more than the slight sensation of something in your ears. I suspect that if BB made these work, she'd have to give up whining about your snoring and that galls her.
yes Lou they are rated on DB reduction. The hard plastic ones I have really do block out all sound, except I can hear the blood rushing in my ears then, but they aren't comfortable to sleep in. I don't think I have a handy package of the ones we use here that I take home, but I'll look at them when I get home and send you the brand. You have to buy them in bulk though, they are only good for about a week, then you need new ones if you wear them nightly.
Naturally ours are to the standard where they protect your ears from the sounds rivet guns make, as well as beat blast booths (those suckers are loud), my H uses the same ones at AA....when they fire up the jets to taxi them.
Lil I suspect that if BB made these work, she'd have to give up whining about your snoring and that galls her.
I don't snore when using the CPAP and I almost always use it except 1X or less a month when I have trouble breathing through my nose.
Lil, I suspect there is a certain amount of payback, P/A in her and some in me. I try to think before I act and say to my self, "why do I feel a certain way, why am I reacting a certain way, would I do/feel this way with a friend or someone I recently met?"
Double standard, P/A, entitlement, or galls someone, I don't know exactly what/which is happening.
About noises and feeling air currents/drafts, I don't get the exhaust being a problem but the RT said she heard that complaint before.
I think BB is looking for "almost perfection" and I am good with good enough or the most improvement for a reasonable amount of work.
Thanks for the differences between poor or effective use of ear plugs. I/we have the "roll till thin" kind. I suspect BB doesn't roll them thin enough and being a medical person, she has some reservations about inserting them too far and maybe causing ear drum damage.
I've been in a lurking mode with your thread and the locked out one (and back to 2004 when I came on the board). I am really rooting for you because I see so much hope in your situation that the possibilities are endless. I am in agreement with others that you might want to switch gears from being SSM to an active DBer. To give you a head start, here is the link to the advice from DB Veterans .
Now on to the real reason I am climbing out of my semi-retirement is your "unsent letter" to Mrs. Choc. This letter smacks of desperation, trying to put your POV on her with some "I'll be a good boy, I'm only trying my best" comments which is classified as R talk and not even respecting her email response to you. What I've learned that works best is to be succient, acknowledge the key parts, and not taking things so personally. What every DBer should be asking themselves is this: Will doing this [action/statement] bring my WAS closer to me? And drop the [i"I know what you are thinking..." [/i] byliner!! This is so presumptous and arrogant to assume that of anyone.
My suggestion is to get back to the basics: 1) Thanking the person for sharing their views 2) Acknowledge and validate their views in empathetic ways 3) Keep your communications short 4) Implement 24-hour or 72-hour rule whenever you feel the URGE to send off an email or take a drastic action.
Poor you, I am going to offer my thoughts on how you could respond to your wife's email among many others that are coming your way from all directions fast and furious! But here it is (for better or worse-- ;)):
Mrs. Choc,
I appreciate the time you took in writing your email which seems to be a difficult thing for you to do and it took a lot of courage to do this. I am glad that you were able to clear some things up in respect to the doctor visit and our discussions.
Change for many people can be challenging and I am sure for you too. It is great that you want to learn how to be more independent as a person and it seems that it could be both exciting and scary for you. Please do let me know how I can be of support to you in this journey!
In reading your email, it appears that you are feeling very conflicted about many things in your life--including our marriage. Whew...that's a lot to absorb. Again, I am available to give you my support in this area by listening to your thoughts when you are ready to talk.
You know what? I've been thinking about taking some [insert your activity of choice] classes. I've always wanted to do that...is this something you would be interested in? Perhaps we can explore this when I get back from Chicago.
Choc.
This shows Mrs. Choc several things:
[list] [*]Acknowledges the email in an empathetic way [*]You are not chasing her with R talk [*]Recognizes the internal conflict she's currently experiencing [*]Offering her support in a non-intrusive way [*]Validates the possible internal fears about change and how to cope with them [*]Actually listening to complaints about not having any fun anymore [*]Being a confident H without being too needy, whiny
Choc, the one thing I've learned in this is that we are on the WAS's timetable and need to check our pride at the door. This is not about YOU, but about their internal mechanisms that are not working properly and they are on their own path in sorting out the jumbled emotions/thoughts.
I am rooting for you! You are a blessed person here on the DB in that your wife actually communicates her thoughts and feelings with you. Look at the positives---not the negatives. I see an abundance of positives in your sitch. You might want to consider changing your perception and really pay attention to the positives (and baby steps) that are happening in your sitch.
Best, Wonka
P.S. This newfangled re-designed site has me feeling like a schoolkid having to re-learn the ABC's!
