Question for HD women

[MJontheMend]

I would say that the only problem I had with "bringing the heat" within the context of my SSM is that it sucks when you allow yourself to get quite aroused and then you get turned down. It's "safer" to initiate from a point of less arousal in a situation in which you anticipate a good possibility of rejection due to previous experience of it. If I am aroused to the point of being "excited and eager" and physically ready and then I am turned down, I am more likely to become literally "hysterical" and I don't like to go there.

I remember one time I was caressing my own breasts in an effort to get my 2bx turned on and he said "I can tell that you're not really turning yourself on so it's not working for me.".

Also, I would say that most of the time I was wanting my 2bx in particular and not just sex in general. I'm strongly monogamous so when I'm "in love" with a man my sexuality tends to focus on him alone. I didn't even MB to thoughts of other men until I was able to dismantle my dysfunctional attachment to my 2bx.

OTOH, I am strongly object-oriented for a woman so it wouldn't necessarily be the case that I would be thinking about his "touch and caress". I might be thinking about his biceps and his cute *ss.

Would y'all say that the "heat" generally starts with the woman, when you get right down to it, and it's a matter of whether she's hungry for him or not? Perhaps that's more the case with older men than younger men?

No. I can see how a woman in "heat" would inspire desire in most men but in my experience HD guys definitely can bring the heat first a lot of the time. Of course, keeping the heat going through an encounter in which a woman just lies there like a cold fish would probably be quite tough. I think the HDW on the BB have never really been able to adequately communicate the difference between being with a guy who is LD and one who is HD. Maybe I can try again since I was with HD guys in my youth then spent decades with my LDH and recently was with a couple relatively HD guys again (although whether I was actually sexual with both of them would depend on whether you follow Bill Clinton's rules - lol ) When you're with a HD guy it's like you are being led or even propelled through the encounter. It's like even if you are the one being physically more assertive for the moment it's like you are just holding a wind-up car still on the track, you can sense the wheels still spinning or the engine still revving. My 2bx would frequently do things like stop action during an encounter and request that I take my bra off because it was too much hassle for him to deal with it. I've never had a HD guy let my clothing get in the way of his desire. I was making out with this HD guy in a car that was not exactly made for making out and I was wearing a bodysuit because I didn't want my *ss hanging out of my low-rise jeans. For about half a second because of my experience with my LDH I had the thought "Oops, wardrobe error." but it only took HD guy about 2 seconds to deal with that level of difficulty and I should emphasize that it wasn't because of any higher level of sexual prowess, it was because he was the "little engine that could" because he had a tank full of testosterone and/or a proactive attitude or some combination of the two. I think when the HDW on the BB say that they want or they're used to men being more assertive, it's not necessarily that they are looking for rough action (though that can be fun too) what they are really saying is that they're used to this sort of steady drumbeat of active desire coming from a guy. It doesn't matter whether he's giving you a slow massage or throwing you down fast from the ankles, you just sense that he has some kind of mission in mind.