I've only read the last three pages of your sitch, Eddie ... but if I were you, I'd never verbalize those fantasies of your wife/other guy to her. Let her suspect, if you are unable to keep them from showing, but don't tell her. Unless she is very different from most women, it would be a major turn-off, and in fact an internal rational to connect with someone else who wants them, and not the fleeting titillation of a threesome fantasy that would end up leaving them empty.
I have never seen a "swinger" relationship work out long-term. Someone always ends up falling in love with someone else, and the original couple breaks up. (I have not been in one myself, but have friends in those circles). I don't know if Nop's experience has been any different. I doubt it.
Sex unleashed is a dangerous animal, coupled with all sorts of tricky hormones and bonding where least expected. Do not mess with it. Trust me.
