husband thanks for saying that. but how do i get my h to talk to me.it has been a week now and he won't even talk to me. not even about the kids. i responded to his email on wed and still no word.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
lost I’m no expert otherwise I would not be here. Reading you sitch it seems he goes though your dad when he has something to say to you. Maybe you should talk to you dad. Thank him for every thing he has done and his support but that the problems you and your H are having needs to be worked out by you two. (You dad is having the same husband syndrome of wanting to fix things. Like most husbands here we think we can fix our W’s problems but we can’t they need to fix themselves need just need to give them support) Have your dad tell him that he supports both of you but if your H needs to talk to you about the kids he should be calling you. I don’t know if this will work... Like I said I am not any expert. When you do talk to your husband you might want to tell him you are sorry for calling the police. (Don’t overly apologize because you did nothing wrong you are just sorry it came to that). But tell him you left me no choice. And then let it go. Our S are adults even though they don’t act like it. They know what they did. So we don’t need to keep repeating it. We don’t need to tell them over and over how much they hurt us. They know. They may not show it but they know. My W even though she acts tuff like it does not bother her what she did. For the first couple of weeks she cold not look at me strait in the eyes.
I hope this helps but remember. If I knew more about being married and relationships I would not be here.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Why do you need to talk with him? You can't force someone to talk to you, and if you try to talk to someone who is angry and doesn't want to talk with you it will appear you're pursuing them and they will want less to do with you then ever. They will bolt.
Your husband is angry with you and probably wants to "get back at you." My guess is he knows this is upsetting you and that's why he's doing it. He wants to hurt you back. If you can detach things will get easier. You won't care so much and he won't have this control over you.
I don't think it's good to have your dad or anyone else in the middle.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
my family has told my dadto back off and he has agreed that we need to work out our own problems. as far as my h being mad at me he doesn't have a reasonto really. he was the one that moved out and in with the ow. i told him that i would move the party to a park and he could be there. he said no that he wont be there. the only person he is hurting is our son, not me. why cant he see that. we both want him for that day and this is the only compromise i can come up with.(i dont trust him to take our kids in the morning bc he would be the type to have an excuse to miss the party just to tee me off) he is still mad over the no tresspass notice but that was not my fault and i caant get him to understand that. but he doesn't care. i think that it is easier for him to be mad at me.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
I think your offer is very generous. He should be able to put his anger aside. This is your son's special day and your H should remember that. When is the WAS wake up and realize how much pain they also cause their children? I hope for your son's sake he makes it to the party. Just make it as special as you can for your son. He will have a great time, don't dwell on it to your son if H doesn't come. You're a great mom!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
well my h is still at it. he is blaming me for everything. even the ow even texted me and told me that we need to be civil by this time i lost it. i called her a homewrecker and that she needed to stay out of it. then my h told me that she was just trying to be nice and if i was more like her that he would not of left. like she really knows how to be a mom and a wife. what could she really know she left her h to be with my h. and at only 19 could not have been married that long.grrrrrrrr! i am so angry and yet so hurt at the same time.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
Lost I’m so sorry if I offended you. My heart (what’s left) does go out to you. I was not saying my sitch is worst than yours. I was just pointing out how everyone’s is different. I can’t imagine what it would be like to love some one who’s out ward appearance look like they hates me. I do feel things are slooooooly working out. Part of my problem is My Heart was hurt just as bad as yours when you found out. I want to be mad at her but I can’t. Yes you live that pain every day because you H are with the OW. My sitch not as bad as your sitch but I am left in limbo. You know where your H is. I have to keep flip flopping is she or isn’t she.
Again I feel so sorry if I caused you any more hurt. We all have had our life time’s worth of hurt
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
