Well that is were I told you not to be jealous a couple of days ago,lol. I never got the holding pattern, just straight to the rollercoaster, AND I WANT OFF NOW ! ! !
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade last night for anything right now, but today is a downer coming off that high. I actually felt really good after the meeting and the enemy started working on me during the night, I woke up at like 3 and could't get back to sleep because of all the doubts in my head, and today is nice weather and I'm stuck in the office. I do get my son again for the Memorial Day weekend, so that'll be awesome. That'll snap me out of this til I have to take him to the IL's on Monday.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Catfan, when your wife was ready for D, how long did she ride it out that she was going for it? She never actually filed though, right? I know I've asked you that before, I can't remember. I'll go looking.
Did she split up bills, and such? My W is still acting so weird, she's just not consistent.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Dude I got and continue to get so many mixed signals until it's crazy!
She did hire and retain a lawyer but here in NC she can't file until 1 year and 1 day of separation. That takes us to early Nov. In fact 4 days after my b-day and the day after the 20th anniversary of her father's death. She's never said she was going to file. She has consistently said she is neither pursuing a divorce nor is she pursuing reconciliation.
We do have a verbal separation agreement and we have split all liquid assets. Since I am out of the house she carries all those bills but we jointly carry bills for our vacation house. She also is carrying all bills for our kids and only yesterday mentioned anything about helping there. I told her then I am the Patriarch of the family and I intend to provide for and care for my family. So I will be assisting with the kids.
Now as for uplifting stories. Go read my latest thread. I am an absolute idiot for my antics last night! But there is a silver lining in it. Catfan's latest updates.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
So I shouldn't be freaking out too much that she moved her cellphone? I mean I made it possible for her to do it, and I have to change my carrier soon anyway, so it's no big deal and I shouldn't have been surprised. And by her attitude most of last night, I shouldn't be surprised now, I'm sure she did it yesterday. Wish I could find out if she changed her number. I think that would be the death-knell of the M.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
So I shouldn't be freaking out too much that she moved her cellphone? I mean I made it possible for her to do it, and I have to change my carrier soon anyway, so it's no big deal and I shouldn't have been surprised. And by her attitude most of last night, I shouldn't be surprised now, I'm sure she did it yesterday. Wish I could find out if she changed her number. I think that would be the death-knell of the M.
Why would changing her number be the death-knell? She's trying to establish herself and her own life and that's to be expected. Don't read to much into it because she'd be doing this either way, D or not. I would also suspect she has a new number if the account was in your name. I would think she'd have a hard time transferring the number if it wasn't in her name. So don't think too much around that either.
Bottom line here is you need to make sure you are doing things for you. IOW you need to be GALing. When you GAL it can sometimes shock the WAS into the reality that you might move on without them. My wife is definitely processing in that way. Every time I take something of mine out of the house she reacts. She even told me the other night I don't need to be in a hurry to get my stuff.
Last edited by catfan; 05/25/0708:30 PM.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
Why would changing her number be the death-knell? She's trying to establish herself and her own life and that's to be expected. Don't read to much into it because she'd be doing this either way, D or not. I would also suspect she has a new number if the account was in your name. I would think she'd have a hard time transferring the number if it wasn't in her name. So don't think too much around that either.
She didn't have to change the number, it was set-up so she could just move it to her own account. Feel like if she changes the number, she no longer wants ANY possibility of contact (even though we're on forced darkness anyway).
Quote:
Bottom line here is you need to make sure you are doing things for you. IOW you need to be GALing. When you GAL it can sometimes shock the WAS into the reality that you might move on without them. My wife is definitely processing in that way. Every time I take something of mine out of the house she reacts. She even told me the other night I don't need to be in a hurry to get my stuff.
She was shocked last night when she saw me. I saw it in her eyes for just a split second. I also stayed so calm and confident the whole time, I know she recognized that.
My wife didn't even try to schedule a time to come pick up the stuff, don't you think she would have if she wanted me all the way out??? I don't know, like I said earlier, she'll probably get her lawyer to do that.
I'm in good shape myself, just finally getting on the roller-coaster has been a definite shock to the system today. Can't wait to go get my S for the holiday.
I'm almost tempted to have my mom invite W over for the holiday cook-out, but I know that's pursuing and that's not attractive nor healthy. Still want to do it.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Had a great time with my son over the holiday weekend. He is having a really hard time, but we have a good time together none-the-less. I'm becoming a better dad because of this, Ironic huh? Didn't hear squat from my W, of course.
Other than that, I am over worrying about when she's going to call next. I don't need her to call. When she does, she does.
Now, to find some more good things to occupy my time! I used to feel guilty about the "free time" I had because I wasn't with my family, but then I realized, she decided to divorce me, I'm going to make myself happy! So I am...
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
You are doing really well JR. I'm with you on finding things to make you happy. I have been doing a lot more social stuff with friends and work colleagues. I am actually having to juggle my schedule I'm so busy!! I just got an invite to go bowling with some girls from work!
M:32 W:26 Kids: None Cats: 2 Together: 9 years Married: May 2005 Bomb: September 2006 Sep: November 2006
