Madonna/Whore Part 3

[COG]

Sisters,

Actually while I'd like to say "hound him about it", I probably wouldn't suggest that.

Phew! I'm very glad to hear that. The last thing men want is to be hounded. If you want your man to shut down, clam up, keep to himself, then just hound him. That'll shut him up and teach him to hide for sure.

What I would say though is possibly something to this effect "You're showing me just how important taking care of this is to you and how important doing what it takes to make me at ease is for you by how long it takes you to take care of it. You agreed to provide this, fixing the password is nothing more than a 15-minute phone call...which you have yet to make. This is the last time I will bring this up, it's up to you, just know I won't wait for this information indefinitely...the clock is ticking, it's up to you to stop it."

WHAT!!!! What the heck happened to the no hounding? You've got threats, guilt trips, controlling behaivior, and all kinds of other garbage wrapped up in that paragraph. Are you really going to live out the rest of your life allowing somebody else to have control over how you feel? Why must you give him so much power over you?

Here's what I'd do. "H, it's pretty obvious that you don't want me seeing last months bill, so fine, no problem. I'll let you off the hook for last month but could we please stay on track for the next few months so that I can just get a little more solid on my feet in terms of trusting you again. I love you and I really appreciate what we have going on right now. So what's up for dinner tonight?"

He is obviously not very interested in the cell phone bill. I know you are, it's quite obvious but it's not all about YOU! The fact that he called to say "I love you", is either a ploy to distract you, or it's genuine. So make your choice, ploy or genuine, but don't be on the fence about it. If you think it's genuine, then roll with it, breath with it, let it saturate your heart, mind and soul. Live in the moment. Let go the fear, distrust, jealousy, resentment, etc. That's YOUR baggage to let go of, and your responsibility to let go of it, not your H's.

Or if you think it is a ploy to distract you then by all means hound him into submission so that you'll feel better about knowing the truth. Honestly, from the sounds of it, it sounds like he's hiding it. Like he really does'nt want you to see it. My bet is he might of called her, but he definately did not see her. I'd put money on it.

Look, I am not saying that it was OK for him if he did speak to OW last month. I'm saying, that things are moving in the right direction for you RIGHT NOW. You recognize it yourself, the tides have turned for you. This whole cell phone bill seems like a time bomb to me, a diversion or distraction from your destiny. I'm in favor of walking around this one. Choose a different battle this time. Live and let live.

Love,

COG