Okay. Well IN CASE you do want to send it, I'll give you my edited version (I love editing \:\) ) I deleted things that I just feel Mrs Choc does not NEED to read. (you don't need to be an open book to her as she is not an open book to you, KWIM?) I only changed a couple of lines and added one line. What do you think of the new version?? Can you tell what information I am editing out and how it changes the tone of the e-mail while still leaving what I think are your main points?


Mrs. Choc.,

I know what you're thinking -- "great, another e-mail from Choc." LOL Hey, at least it's not "Earn Cash in Your Spare Time" or "Nigerian Businessman Needs to Verify Your Bank Account for Large Deposit," right?

Actually, this is not yet another in a series of heavy e-mails from me. I'll back off of those for now unless you insist I keep them up:) If there's anything you'd ever like to discuss, or ask me, and you find it easier to do via e-mail, then of course I'll reply. We still need to go to counseling to see if it will help us. I will still be your very best friend in the entire world, and you can count on me for support to the extent that I'm able to give it to you.

I need to change my focus away from you, and onto myself. Because I can't change you anyway, nor DO I want to. Sharing with you how I feel about you, no matter how eloquently or passionately, isn’t helpful to you, and frankly working on myself is enough of a project for any one man anyway.

There are things I need to change about my life, for my own sake and for the sake of our children. I need to get it in order, for whatever the future holds for me. I need to clean it up literally (my bedroom, our house, our yard), financially, and figuratively (other issues I need to work on), and I need to begin all three right now, and in fact I've already started.

I now know that you are in the same process, and I thank you for sharing what must have been very difficult feelings with me.

It is still my hope that we can both find room in the "new and improved Choc. and Mrs. Choc." for each other as husband and wife, and that we will enjoy a long, happy life together as lovers, parents and grandparents someday. It is still my heart's wish, and it is still my daily prayer.

The future will bring what it will bring, and I have to let go, and only God can catch me.

I do love you.

Choc.



But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus