I'm a bit envious of normal people that know their brothers and sisters and can talk to them all they want
Interesting that you should say this as my H has quite often said he is envious when he sees large family gatherings and/or get-togethers
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Now I sometimes wonder if perhaps I did unwittingly meet my sister... and marry her.
My H has said that too - LOL. Because he was born in England and was adopted and my father spent 6 years in England, almost married a woman there but came back to Canada (and I still think I have a half sister there) he was a little freaked out at the thought I might be her or that we might have the same father
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Well, right after I signed off last night, I wound up in a conversation with her about my career. I mentioned my concerns, and she already knew, in a general sense, what I'd been thinking for the past few days. She made suggestions, which I listened to very appreciatively, then she listened while I outlined my plans (which included her suggestions), and we talked some more and touched a lot and expressed lots of appreciation of each other.
She knows she's going to be taken care of, and I know she's there to support and help and listen to me.
It helps, of course, that I was not acting like Mr. Mojo, whining that I didn't like my job and sullenly shooting down all her suggestions as to how to improve matters and wanting nothing more from her than "you poor baby, just stay here and I'll make it all better". This is not a recipe for reassuring her or for improving my own situation or feelings. And I departed from the martyr attitude of previous years. The original martyrs died within a few hours or days and didn't make big hairy nuisances of themselves after making their ultimate sacrifice... they just quietly went and collected the reward that waited for them. If we wish to be lovingly remembered as heroic martyrs, we have to do the same. Otherwise, we just become a pain in the butt for everyone around us.
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 05/25/0703:24 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Now I sometimes wonder if perhaps I did unwittingly meet my sister... and marry her.
My H has said that too - LOL. Because he was born in England and was adopted and my father spent 6 years in England, almost married a woman there but came back to Canada (and I still think I have a half sister there) he was a little freaked out at the thought I might be her or that we might have the same father
Interesting you should said that yesterday. I happened to browse various state laws yesterday afternoon and found that, in the event that we a discovered a genetic half-sibling relationship between ourselves ("without regard to legitimacy", meaning (I think) that the adoption didn't make it legally go away as far as incest laws are concerned), our marriage would become void and we would be legally compelled, under threat of jail time, to immediately terminate our sexual relationship. Or at least observe the Eleventh Commandment and keep it Wholly.
Anyway, I guess he knows differently now, right? Or is there still some question about who is biological father is? Either way, he would have much less reason to worry than I... for one thing, you are not the only person that has ever, to his knowledge, wanted to have sex with him, and for another, England is much more populous than my native state.
I once took as reassurance the fact that my wife had no close relatives that had ever lived within fifty miles of my birthplace. It wasn't until fairly recently that I learned that my birthplace is the one place on Earth than my biological mother was almost certainly not living when I was conceived... at the time, unwed mothers giving babies up for adoption were routinely shipped to maternity homes away from where they usually lived in order to hide their shameful condition from people who knew their families. There's no guarantee that she even lived in the same state, although it's not all that likely that she was shipped clear across the country or something.
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 05/25/0703:50 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Unfortunately my H does not know who his biological father is and probably never will. However, I do believe he has got past the point of thinking I might be his sister (which I think might have just been another excuse to not have sex - but might have also been tied in with his M/W complex feeling)
The odds of us having the same father are rather remote, to say the least, although I guess stranger things have happened. But it is highly unlikely
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Unfortunately my H does not know who his biological father is and probably never will. However, I do believe he has got past the point of thinking I might be his sister (which I think might have just been another excuse to not have sex - but might have also been tied in with his M/W complex feeling)
Wow. He actually claimed he was reluctant to have sex with you because your dad was in his native country when he was conceived and you therefore might be his sister? That has to qualify as the flimsiest excuse ever posted on this entire board for not having sex!
Unless y'all really look alike or something.
In my case, the only concerns I would have if it turned out to be true would be the prospect of getting caught and the prospect of having a child with birth defects (our existing children are okay as far as we can tell). The thought of the act itself under those circumstances is actually kind of a turn-on.
Did I mention I was weird?
Originally Posted By: Heywyre
The odds of us having the same father are rather remote, to say the least, although I guess stranger things have happened. But it is highly unlikely
Yeah, it's unlikely in my case, too, although I still think it's kind of weird that she wanted me so much when no one else wanted me at all. My behavior at the time certainly doesn't explain it. Not that I'm complaining, of course!
And she can "hear me thinking" to a sometimes unnerving degree.
Oh yeah, and I love creating drama in my own head, as you may have noticed.
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 05/25/0704:35 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
I still think it's kind of weird that she wanted me so much when no one else wanted me at all.
Hmmm kinda along the same lines as what my H said and he tried his hardest to get rid of me, but I wasn't about to throw in the towel - that surprised him because everyone else did.
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and I love creating drama in my own head, as you may have noticed
Hey, I wonder if you and my H are brothers - LOL
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
His dad could have been anyone from the US, Canada, or Britain that served in the European theater, then. That's a hell of a lot of people. Wow, that excuse is even flimsier than I thought at first glance.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
My W has been working with a physical trainer at the gym, and getting impressive results. She has admitted that she finds him "cute" and "nice", but when directly questioned, denied even being tempted to jump the fence.
But when not directly questioned, she is always blatantly saying and doing things to make me jealous. As in characterizing her session with the trainer as a "hot date". Bringing him food. Telling me about what she saw him doing when she went to the gym to work out on her own between scheduled sessions with him. Making little jokes and innuendoes about him. Saying on his days off that she doesn't feel like going to the gym because he's not there. And so on. Early on, she accused me of being jealous after she did some of that, and I admitted that i was and then turned it around and said "you want me to be jealous, don't you?", and she admitted that she did, that she considered it a sign of love.
Now she hasn't done any of the classic signs of actually having an affair of any kind, such as cutting me off emotionally or sexually, hiding her phone or other property, or strange and unexplained absences. She has given me detailed descriptions of what they do together and what they talk about. And, again, when directly questioned, denies even being tempted to cross the line. In her words "I've got enough trouble keeping up with you!".
Sounds like a pretty obvious cry for some kind of reaction, right? Well, as I mentioned to LustForLife, my reaction tends to be along the lines of giving her more attention, flirting with her, and so on. LFL seemed to consider this inadequate; my W, on the other hand, appears to eat it right up, at least for now. If she wants me to credibly threaten violence against an ex-military certified personal trainer six years younger than me, she's barking up the wrong tree. If she wants me to credibly threaten to kick her out, she's also out of luck... and remember, she can hear me thinking. If she wasn't neglecting me, I'd keep her without hesitation no matter what (or who) she was doing on the side. The furthest I went was to tell her (falsely) that, if she crossed that line, I would do the same. She didn't buy it, as she told me some weeks later, although she went ahead and related this threat to our family and friends as if she believed it.
The simple truth is that the thought of her having a fling with another guy turns me on, especially if I get to watch. Of course the thought of her cutting me off emotionally and sexually, or running off to live with him, doesn't turn me on at all, so I haven't exactly come out and admitted any of this or deliberately done anything that would tend to encourage her to cross the line. The closest I've come to admitting it was to admit, after the little weasel waited until I was out of earshot one day to talk to her at the gym and she later accused me (truthfully but playfully) of being jealous, that "jealousy makes me horny" as I lightly ran my fingers along her spine and down her leg. Of course I have little doubt she knows the whole truth about my feelings on this and isn't talking about it until I feel like it.
Perhaps she's doing all this to "test the waters". (Doubtful, unless she's a much better liar than she's ever shown herself to be in the decade and a half that I've known her). Or maybe she's feeling insecure (she doesn't have any real reason to these days, but people hardly ever need a reason for this) and wants daily reassurance that I do get jealous. Or maybe she just keeps it up because I keep rewarding her with attention and increased sexual vibes.
She told me a few months ago "If you brought him over here and said 'he's all yours' or 'let's have a threesome', I wouldn't do it". My response was to smile and say "OK, now I know what not to get you for your birthday".
I'm glad I improved my mental state and started reconnecting with her before she started working with this trainer! Who knows what kind of emotional connection she'd have with him (and not with me) by now otherwise?
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 05/25/0707:50 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
If you play with fire, you will eventually get burned.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
