Husband = That is the problem in our state if she wants to buy a house I have to sign off on it. Which i don't want to do.
I guess i need to be clear about my reservations.
1. It feels like a very permanent step. And I have issues with that. (can't tell her this one)
2. She would be taking a lot of money out of our accounts, which makes it more difficult to split up later if need be. (somewhat weak argument with her, since she knows she gets half anyways)
3. If i am part owner, i have to take on the responsibility. Insurance, liability, taxes, etc are all things that i would have to be aware of since it could come to bite me later. (okay rsponse)
4. The lawyer said not to do anything major right now, and said to not buy houses during seperation. Keep the status quo. (ok, but why??)
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Her arguments are going to be:
1. We are over, and she wants a house for the kids, she doesn't want to move twice.
2. She doesn't want to wait until we are divorced to move out, so she wants to buy a house.
3. Spending money on renting is stupid when she knows we are over and she wants to buy a house.
4. moving twice means moving furntiture twice.
5. She found the perfect house and it won't be available in 10 months. (i know this is what she is thinking and the major motivator in her decision, but she won't admit to it. She has always got stuck on things and can't wait for the possibility something else will come along).
6. Whats the difference if she takes the money now or later.
So if I give her support, it means i am signing on it and pulling money out of our accounts to buy it. I need more valid reasons for being against it, since my real reason is I don't want to see her go. Hell maybe i should support her in buying the house. Sepration is not the end. And we could always sell a house.... I don't know though.
I am thinking that my response needs to be something to buy time right now:
"I know that you want to move forward in seperating our living arrangements, and I can understand why you would want to get situated in a new house instead of renting. I'm sure you have a lot of valid reasons you would want to, as you wouldn't take this decision lightly. And if you found a house you like i'm sure you are scared it will sell. Have you talked to your lawyer about it?
The reason is because when i spoke to my lawyer, she was very clear that we should not buy houses right now, she recommended keeping as much things status quo with our finances as possible, as buying a house requies both married parties to sign off and would be joint property, and joint liability. She said if one of us needed to move at this time we should rent temporarily.
Either way, its a complicated thing, and i'm not sure how i feel about it. I would have to talk to my lawyer, and i'm not sure she would even let me sign off on a new house. (her response to this would be she works for you, and I would say yes I know that, but i'm paying her to protect me right now as my emotions can easily complicate my decisions right now)
Maybe there are other options we aren't thinking about, like a 1 year lease on the house you want to buy?
