Why do these things happen

[789]

Thank you LIN and JR,
Kind of just lost my mine and or will power this morning, not a whole lot better tonight but better and have calmed down. You are both right, it is not time to throw in the towel. I just hate this emotional rollercoaster, probably the same one W has been on for a long time without me knowing it at the time.

LIN, part of me just keeps thinking those bastards are still
@#%$^&$% with me mentally and I do not want them to win, and keeping myself sane, sober and happy is part of me winning, I also no it is wrong, but part of me blames them for what has/is happening in my marriage and feel that if my marriage fails, they are still winning, which I know it is not.
Is your first line in your post implying that I should share what I had sent you? I have been thinking about it alot, I know this place is annonymous, so that part would be okay. I also wonder if it could help others who may have same type experience. I know I held in for 25+ years and I am positive I am not the only one who has done the same. Maybe others who have can stop themselves from letting it eat them alive like I had.