Trying to piece at last

[stillme]

Hi {{{H}}}. I'm so sorry you're finding it so hard right now, and I hate that you're crying after dropping the kids off w/H. I hear that you're semi-dark in that you don't contact H, but are you doing the 'semi-dark'ness stuff for yourself as well? Are you (still) GALing, doing something(s) fun or new or not-the-same? You need to take care of yourself, H, and use the semi-dark to get the focus back on yourself. (Here's an example of something I did today. A b'day party at a local attraction: S wanted to play laser tag. The rest of the kids & a few parents had done it already but S & I were finishing up s omething else & didn't make their team. I really didn't want S to go in by himself (tho it was quite safe) w/all strangers, so I suited up as well. Never played laser tag in my life, and the Old Me would have thought of every other possibility before even considering playing myself. But I did, and it was FUN (and I did damm well!) So, what I'm saying is, even if it doesn't sound like "you" or what you would normally like, try it - be open to new things, new people, new experiences. Find what makes H happy again, and let her grow.

On the holiday issue: Besides the fact that you will miss D's awfully if you're not w/them, why would you want to spend a 2wk long "holiday" w/a this man, w/the sitch the way it is? What kind of "good" can come out of it? Can you think of any alternatives, or options regarding the holiday?

{{peace}}, H; and, you're right: Tomorrow is another day. j.