Although my h isn't perfect, I have such a love for him, and I really look at him genuinely, and I have no thoughts about what happened last year. I thank God for the Lord giving me such a forgiving heart.
ST - I think about this often - a foregiving heart. And wonder if I will be able to lovingly accept W. I may be an exception, but I have not really felt so overwhelmingly angry at W in spite of her A. Maybe because I still don't feel foregiven for my part in the breakdown of the marriage. Maybe because I've grown accustomed to just keeping it bottled up so as to not upset the progress. And maybe, I already have the forgiving heart.
You posted on my thread, after recently spending alot of time with my W, to not be surprised if she needs some time away. Can you write a bit about if/what happened with you? Did H almost get home and then drift away again? Did you do anything different?
Me - 43 and She -36. No kids. Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs
I only say that she may "break" away from you right now because of how confused she is. My H never really "left" our home, although he did spend the night at a friends many times. After DBing, things just slowly got better between us, more cordial like, and maybe even did some things together with the kids and stuff..and even some physical things. Well, a couple months after that, maybe more, he wanted me to stay at my moms for a while (couldn't tell me how long) and I really debated whether it was right for me to do that. He said he needed time alone (said that before and went to you know who's house- luckily she lives in another state) but I tried to trust God in it and told him that I would. Well, during that time things were slow, but then txting between us kept getting more an more often and even talking a whole lot. then about a month later was when he said he wanted me to be his wife forever.
So I just know that right now your W is confused. this is a good thing. before, she totally wanted out, she thought she had her answer. well, guess what, now she's not really sure what she wants, and it sounds like she's growing closer and closer to you. You just need to continue what your doing, continue getting closer to God, and allowing him to do things in His time, not yours.
I really think my sitch went too fast. Although I'm definitely glad I got thru it in mostly 7 months, but still, like Michelle talks in the book, or maybe it was someone else, that if it takes a long time, you know it's more genuine. So just have patience. I know that we want so badly to be told that what our S is doing are signs in the right direction, and we want to know WHY for everthing, but it really doesn't matter. Just keep your faith going and DBing and Galing and all that, and things will fall into place. I totally see a reconciliation with you and your W, but you know what you need to keep doing. Remember too, that you need to do these changes for you, and not just for her, otherwise they will not last.
hope that helps some!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Well, my H didn't come to church today, but he did suprise me with diamond studs last night! I've been wanting some for years, and I always hinted but never got. So this is really cool! Now I gotta figure out what I can do for him for Fathers day!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
thanks C_M, I'm really glad I can help other people. When you get thru this you will want to help everyone you can.
I really feel proud of going thru what I did. I tell people, I've learned a lifetime of wisdom in just 6 months! okay, maybe a little longer. And of course I'm still learning!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
ST wow that's very cool, congrats on the diamond studs!!!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I'm popping in to see how you're doing and to say thank you for the Scripturally based advice you've been giving me
You once said to me standing is not for everyone & boy is that true especially when people start judging you over it after all, we're just obeying His Written Word anyway
Anyways, if you have some time, come for a visit as there's been a bit of action my end
Thanks for checking in Nikki: Things are busy! I've been really doin the MonaVie lately, and I decided that I needed to take a break. I think I've been so excited about it that I'm getting obsessed! I do that sometimes.
So, yesterday I tried to clean the house really well, glad I did cause H had a bad day. Then today just read the bible, tried to get stuff done and play with s3. i need to do the last thing more often.
I made a new "rule" for my s3...that our door would be locked and he could knock on it and I would put him back to bed. That actually worked well the first night. But last night (I did get him to bed late though) he woke up like 4 times, then my H woke up at 4am and couldn't stop coughing. I ended up making him a warm glas of salt water. I think that helped.
It seems like the whole family has been coughing except me. Guess thats good, so I can take care of em all!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I don't really remember saying that, but maybe I did. I say a lot of things and don't remember! I think I have premature althiemers. I even forgot how to spell.
I did just check in on you today. Ya, it's definitely taken me for a loop. Was kinda shocked in went THAT far in the other direction. But totally not all lost. I think she formost needs prayer. Satan is trying to trick her. Just continue to keep God first, keep becoming more like Christ, taking care of yourself, becoming a better person, and a better person for others, and she will see. It is just going to take longer than we thought.
The longer it takes, IMHO, the more "real" it is.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
after all, we're just obeying His Written Word anyway 
