Had a revised proposal of splitting assets when I got home from work (sitting on the kitchen table). (H had told me over the phone he was working on it). I am frustrated that he left it on the kitchen table. D16 always gets home before me and it could be confusing to her and none of her business! This one has him keeping the house since I told him I was thinking about moving. I will not discuss a financial settlement until I have talked to a lawyer.
I have a meeting tonight with D16's counselor to help me determine what will be best for her. I realize moving out of state is not best, but I will be job hunting and so we could move within the area. I had already planned to turn in my letter of resignation at the end of May long before H told me his plans. I need to go through with this because my current job is just frustrating and I have been unhappy for years. I talked to my sister and a good friend mentioning that I was concerned about all the changes at once. They both said I should look on this as an opportunity! (BTW, I did invite H to go with me to the mtg.)
Finished Embracing Uncertainty as one part of my life is becoming more certain. I need to reread it already!!!!!!
Just a quick note....Hang in there .....You are doing well. Keep up the strength. Do go talk to a lawyer and have yourself prepared just in case. You have to look out for your D16. He is in a different world and thats his loss. I will try to write more tonight. I had to take a day off today to do our business because H is gone. So its really gotten busy.
My sister sent me this quote (not sure of the source):
The chaos of not knowing what to do next opens the door for a completely new option.
Spent about 3 hours yesterday with H (on our boat). We both talked and cried. He said several times, "I may be making the biggest mistake of my lifetime", but he is convinced a divorce is the only way to go. I suggested a longer separation, but he said it wouldn't be the same. "No one will date a married man, or if they do it wouldn't be someone I want to date".
So, we will talk to D16 after his four day business trip. I will start accepting reality!
Oh Matty, I'm so sorry. Have you read Love Must be Tough by Dobson? It talks about opening the cage door and setting them free. Sometimes it wakes them up when they see we are not pursuing. That's what I'm trying so hard to do now.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Sometimes it wakes them up when they see we are not pursuing.
Hard part is that H is moving at such a fast pace!!! Doesn't give him much of a chance to change his mind. (He doesn't even want to wait until Jan 1 to save on taxes. !!) Of course, he has been thinking about this before he verbalized it to me. I'm sad, but I know I will be ok ...eventually.
