You know, D, my hat is off to you for keeping it going for two years. I know that if I want to have H back, it likely will take that long -- or longer -- but sometimes I'm just not sure I have that kind of stamina.

The fear created by H being less tense is so sharp sometimes, I think. Today wasn't as good as I wanted: I had the day off and I ended up spending too much time thinking -- so of course I called him and sounded weak and weird. I hate that! And of course he sounded understanding but distant. And so the stand off continues ... We'll see what happens this evening at S2's band concert. (We finally have figured out how to sit in near proximity of each other but not quite as if we are still together; I hate that too!)

Do you think this need to figure out how to act and live without too much fear of reprisal is going to help us live a fuller life later? I hope that there will be something good out of all these changes.

Ok, enough grumping! I decided as I drove to pick up the kids that I am figuring out how to really GAL! My job at the library has some times when I'm working all the time and at other times I have huge spaces of time off. You'd think my house would be spotless with a schedule like that -- right! \:\/ . So, I am going stop pretending I'm going to become the next Martha S and try to get myself writing again (I am a wannabe author who never really writes ). I have a somewhat romance novel that I've started -- if I can now figure out how to write "romance" in the midst of this craziness, I think it might be a best seller. \:D

And I hope your headache isn't too horrible. My kids don't get out for the summer until June 4th, so I get a few more days before the summer days begin. I'll let you know if there's anything wonderful -- or not -- from tonight.

Me: 45
WAH: 46
Married: 23 yrs; together: 28 yrs (if this year's included)
S1: 17
S2: 13
Bomb w/ H walking out: 1/10/07