Showering isn't that important. It is just what was on my mind last night since he got in the shower with me at exactly the same time I did and there was still no intimate touching. It is the intimate touching outside of sex that is important to me.
I don't like to offend h because he gets angry. I don't like being snarled at. D has been doing it a lot in the last week. I blew up at her and called her a bitch this afternoon. But I apologized to her a little later. I think I fear anger because my dad was so violent. If we made him mad, he got the belt out or banged our heads together. My first H used to punch things when he got mad. I always worried when it would be me that got punched. My current H isn't violent. He just yells and snarls. Then he sulks.
There have been many times that I have gotten up to use the toilet in the morning then gone back to bed. He knows I have something on my mind and obliges me. I guess I thought getting up to take a shower with me would be something a little bit different. Crawling back into bed and being sexual immediately, instead of waiting for him to wake up a little more, would be different, too. I would really like to try some of Lou Paget's techniques. I've tried a little bit before, but wasn't sure what he thought of it. He is so quiet during sex.
My h likes to relax at home. He is a salesperson and is on the phone talking to people all day. He doesn't care much about socializing after work. So he doesn't have any friends that he hangs out with. We do attend company gatherings once or twice a year, though. He doesn't like contact-sports much. He likes golf, but hasn't done that since we were married--even though I've said that I would like to learn. The whole family takes a ski vacation during spring break. This year, we took S's GF. We used to go camping several times a year before the kids outgrew it.
I thought seriously about learning to golf, but then got a job instead. Maybe I'll still make the time for it this summer.
H's mom lives near us in a care center. She has Alzheimer's. He brings her over to visit for a few hours every Sunday unless we have too much going on. He used to bring her over for most of the day both weekend days. But she's gotten too difficult to work around. He doesn't enjoy visiting with her anymore because she doesn't make sense most of the time. When she does make sense, she is usually complaining about something.
The rest of both sides of our families live half way across the country.
