Asking him is very hard. He is very easily offended. He was offended last night when I asked him about not washing each other in the shower. If I ask him if he is avoiding arousal, that will offend him.
That's HIS problem, stop protecting him from being offended. What you are doing by trying not to offend him is actually protecting him from his own emotions, that allows him not to deal with them....that's a bad thing sweetie. It's a way of also guaranteeing he won't EVER have to answer your questions...make sense? If you are asking an honest question, don't worry about his reaction...ask it. You might want to avoid asking questions right in the moment though (not saying you did that), that will make him instantly go on the defensive.
May I ask what is important about showering together? Is there anything important about it? Seems like you are a bit focused on that...so that's why I ask. What I was actually suggesting is that you wake him up in a nice way, ie blowjob or something sexual like that...not ask him to join you in the shower.
When I asked what's going on with him outside of your marriage I mean ANYTHING. Work, family, friends, sports, children, whatever.
