HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[goal]

This is your decision sweetie. If you have had enough, so be it.
There is only so much one can take.
Keep us posted. You have my support.

[LisaLost]

Breton- he shows he doesn't care!!!

[LisaLost]

ok guys, I feel like I want to just give him the kids and walk away myself- I can't handle this- he said he'd call after he was done with golf to talk to the kids- well no phone call and he's not answering- he hasn't even listened to the messages I have left . He is having a blast with the ow that he swears on his kids lives that there is not one. I know now I made the right choice. I wish he were dead

[MnSPD]

Lisa,

Make sure these decisions are being made with true intent and not based solely on emotion. I know emotion is involved, how can it not be! But, if you have thought this through and you are very clear in your direction, stay the course. Will he wake up? Will you take him back if he does?

Be prepared for a full range of responses from him. Calling you names, telling the kids things, to wanting to try again. Have a plan to stay nuetral, non committed, let him bring the effort this time around. We have seen and you have proven your character. Let's see Brian's when he doesn't have control.

Always do what is right, even if it hurts,

Steve

[MotherMovingOn]

Dear Lisa,

I'm supportive of your decision and I want to re-emphasize what Steve said--be prepared and have a plan.

Hugs to you and your babies. Strength to you in these difficult times--you will have stories to tell your grandchildren!

Love,
Althea

[princess_nic]

Lisa,

Please SLOW DOWN. You have been here before; I remember, and I'm sure you do too. I have felt the same way, and I only have two kids! It is overwhelming at times. You do NOT want B to have the kids; you know that.

Are you still on the anti-anxiety meds? You will probably feel better in a few weeks once your hormones settle down a bit more. In the meantime, just try to stay away from making any decisions, and if possible, stay away from B. Ok?

Love to you,
Nicola

[MotherMovingOn]

Dear Lisa,
I just want to clarify that while I understand the urge to just pull out all the stakes and run for your life, I am not supportive of you giving the kids to B and hitting the road. I think you are just blowing off steam and verbalizing what most of us have felt at one time or another and I am going to assume you are not serious. That would be a decision you would regret for he rest of your life.

With regard to the D, if this is what you need, then I am behind you 100%. I know I couldn't live with the constant threat of him leaving either. You are going to get through this and your friends will help you process this and will stand by you through it. Okay?

Love,
Althea

[LisaLost]

Thanks all- I was just expressing a feeling- you know why can't it be so easy for us left behind to WA I mean- it seems to solve all of their problems (not).

He never called last night- He did text this morning and asked what was my problem and he did start calling me names- I just hung up. he called back I hung up. He texted me that I need to act like an adult (me act like an adult, here I am with a 2 weeks old baby and 4 other kids trying to once again put my life back together after he takes off AGAIN, I cook ,I clean I help with homework- sports etc... and I need to be an adult) anyway. I just tested him back to please email me with a plan for visitation that we can work from to compromise. That is all it said - no word from him yet.

I think I am trying to be adult here- I mean he is not coming back, he doesn't want help- he wants fun and no responsibilites etc... I am giving him the best I gift I can give him a peaceful divorce- He should be happy. Don't get me wrong this is what I want too b/c I finally realized that he is not willing to be a father and husband and the kids and me deserve better.

I don't think I need a plan- he is not going to have a change of heart- he hates me. I just need to work on keeping myself on the right track

Thanks everyone-

Love,Lisa

[MnSPD]

Lisa,

I want to plan for ANY scenario, the good and the bad. Prepare yourself, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Get your house in order so to speak.

Even though you feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, from experience I can tell you there will be other challenges ahead. When children are involved, there is constant contact with the WAS, they simply don't just go away. I as well as others here are living it. Also, even though you are ready for this, educate yourself on the process. Know what to expect.
Don't hurry through this to get it out of the way.

Steve

[LisaLost]

His only comment to me has been "do what you feel you have to do"

loving huh?

trust me I am prepared

Lisa