Just got off the phone with W. She said I've known about this night for a couple of weeks now, I knew this was the plan. If I want to go, then go, just as long as I know this doesn't mean we are starting over.
I said, I'm looking for an apartment, I'm trying to reach some sort of financial agreement with you, I'm moving on. What part of that stuff is saying to you that I think you want to start over? She said, "history would tell me different".
I'm not sure if she meant my history of not leaving when she asks me to, of not pursuing a separation when she says we need too.., I really don't know what she was talking about. Maybe it was my history of thinking that anything she does like this is some glimmer of hope for OR?
I didn't bother to ask what she meant as I'm not doing the R talk. I just agree. It still freaking hurts though. Thinking about my kids again today got to me. The attorney said I will probably end up with a every-other weekend and once a week visitation agreement if she goes through with this. W has said she wouldn't be a jerk about it, who knows.
