I thing the EaAstarted about 2 years ago, The PA In Mar 06. The awful thing about it is that it seemed like he wanted my approval of her. I know the OW she is also a police officer and works at the same detahment as my H. During the time from Mar until Sept when I had a conclusive yes to the PA I viewed their relationship from the outside so to speak, very difficlut and very painful. In Sept I did the pleading, begging trying to over analyize and everything short of standing on my head. He came and went 4 times, each time doing something more and more bizarre and disrespectful. In his lucid moments he would tell me to protect myself and do what I needed to do for me. He has a very strong addiction to this OW and is doing and acting in ways that I never thought possible. As for my part I got counseling immediately and did a lot of work on me. I have detached and gone dark. I have not contacted him or accepted contact since Thursday May 10th. After he was home this last time I realized that in ordered to allow him to have his own journey I had to detach completely. Don't get me wrong I am not giving up on my marriage and I do hold onto hope. I have put it in Gods hands and have asked for direction for me. What was the epiphany you ask? He turned to me and said "isn't she great, Annie she is taking me back and this is the forth time." After the shock of how skewed the world view was for him I realized that he is acting like that teenage boy after a tiff with their girlfriend confiding in their Mom. I am not his Mom, nor do I want to be. He runs to me every time he needed security or his R with the OW was rocky. So distancing myself, taking myself out of the game means that I maintain som of my sanity and get real strong and focused for the part where I am needed for this journey again. Annie
