Sashaying thru Seperation III

[Yoyowife]

MC,
It sounds like she is make excuses to see you. She just doesn't want to look like a pursuer. When I was in college and my H and I were dating. It was a long distance romance. We only got to see each other on weekends. There would be times that I thought I was missing out on college life because of going home every weekend to spend time with him and break it off. Of course I would start missing him and would find the craziest reasons to call him. For example he had bought me a puppy that he kept at his house because my parents wouldn't let keep it at our housre,so I would call to see if I could get it for the weekend. I wanted to see the puppy, but really it was a reason to see him. When she can't reach you it makes her jealous. When my H started dating someone else it drove me crazy, as you know we ended up getting back together and got married. It's weird how things turn around, now he's the one who is not sure.

[nextsteps_4us]

Patience mc.

I'm not an expert, but everyone I have talked to that has seen this kind of thing play out says this is the first step. Anger and guilt are opposites, and when she was angry at you, she didn't feel the guilt of what she is doing to you and her family. right now it sounds like she is feeling less anger, which is letting her really for the first time see all the changes you have made. She won't say it though, and her heart nothing has really changed at this point, because this is only step 1.

It moves slowly, and there will be steps backward along the way. Right now your wife's brain is starting to realize things, she is slowly unlocking the door and making space for you again. Her heart will follow in time. You are just going to have patience, lots and lots of patience. Just keep at it, and don't rush her. Let her drive.

[mcojh]

OK, question for you, particularly the female DBers. CW asked me for a copy of a picture of the boys and I from baseball. I am going to make a copy of it for her, do I get a frame and give it to her as a gift? Or do I give it to her unframed? Also, she really likes her plant stand that we gave her for Mother's Day. The flowers I gave her are dead and gone. Would it be over the top if I gave her a fresh set to replace them?

[Yoyowife]

I say go with the frame. She asked for the pic and it would be a nice gesture and make it more sentimental. I'm not sure about the flowers, it might be going overboard. You don't want to seem like you are pursuing, but the frame is a great idea.

[Heartbroken]

I agree go with just the frame - if you're sure it's a style she likes...

HB

[theoden]

MC,

Frame it.

And send another framed pic with you in your skinny-dude hotpants.

And send it with a note:

Dear CW,

Here's something to remember me by. It must really suck to be you right now -- missing out on all the red-hot, steaming, "MC love". I'm ready to lay it on you like sticky-sweet strawberry jam. You have my number. Call me when you get the itch, baby.

Love,

MC

[mcojh]

Theo-Possibly a hair over the top.

[lovelyolive]

My co-workers are wondering what I'm in here laughing about. Oh my gosh!! hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give her the picture in a frame. Skip the flowers for now.

[mcojh]

OK, the frame it is. No hot pants, where did that even come from????? Thats right, Theo. Anyway I think the pink off the shoulder cocktail dress.

[theoden]

MC,

Listen Mr. Hotpants.

Ever read the Song of Solomon in the Bible? It's like the Jewish version of the Kama Sutra.

My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh
resting between my breasts.

14 My lover is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
from the vineyards of En Gedi.

3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my lover among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.

Yeah baby...sachets, breasts, clusters of henna blossoms, sweet fruit....you KNOW what they were talking about.

It's that sweet strawberry jam, MC. Lay it on her.

---Theoden