ok my sitch locked up. i really don't want to retype everything but go back to my other sitch and please give advice about my h's visitation am i wrong?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
ok everyone my h still is not talking to me but he is calling me dad. he called my dad this morning and said that he wanted the boys on june 2. i told my dad no that we are having a birthday party for my son that is turning 8. my h knew of this bc b4 what happened friday we were going to have the birthday party together. now since he is not allowed on the property he is doing this to get back at me. my dad said no he is not and that i can not keep his kids away from him. i said i am not but i take care of these kids 24-7 and if i want him for his bday i should have that right. why does my h get to have them when it is convenient to him? am i being wrong? need advice please! also i found out that when we go to court tha the courts will not allow for the ow to be around while he has visitation. atleast not while we are married. i am so happy and i know my h will not be at all matter of fact it will probley be something that i am to blame for.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
hey if you already had it planned sorry H. maybe IF you feel like it you could have it at a pizza palor where your H can go. BUT that would be up to you..
H
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Is the birthday party already arranged? Were invites already sent out and are kids planning to come? If so, then perhaps your husband can have the kids after the party (then maybe YOU can go out and party!!!!).
If not, I like the idea of a pizza party at a public place with the kids, friends and your husband (a great reminder of family things he's missing! ;-)
If nothing has been planned yet, then let your husband have the kids. Since you have them 24/7 you probably need a break.My gosh!!!! Go out and GAL!!! have fun!!!!!
Since he currently doesn't spend a great deal of time with the kids, it's probably best to let him have them when it's convenient for him. Do whatever necessary to keep that relationship together. Your boys need it for their well-being. I understand it's maddening for you and you have a lot of anger towards him and there's a part of you that probably wants to hurt him. But you don't want to sever that relationship. I've seen too many dads pull away from the kids and eventually that relationship diminishes. And believe me, OW is probably thrilled you want to keep the kids all the time. Oftentimes it's kids who end up making waves in new relationships and marriages. Many girlfriends are jealous of non-bio kids and would prefer as little time with them as possible. They want the boyfriend all to themselves. I've heard that's a common problem...
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
people have been told about the party but for the most part it is family. i told my h that i would move the party to a park to be more of a neutral place. he is just doing this to be mean bc of what happened last week.i will never keep my kids from their father but i am not going to let him use them to get to me bc he is upset or mad.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
He may be doing it to be mean. But you have proven to be the better person by accommodating him. It will be one of the unspoken things that everyone will know you did it for your D
. Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
thanks husband for saying that. i just wish that my h would realize that. he really is acting like a 5 year old child on a playground of if you don't do this i wont play with you type of mentality.when things are going his way he is all nice but as soon as they are not i am the bad guy and everything is all my fault. grrrrrrrr i am so tired of all of this. the main thing are my boys. i can't protect them from everything but i am trying. i just should not have to protect them from their own father.
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
took my boys out 2 walk with me this morning. we walked 4 miles. i really thought i was gonna have to carry my youngest son and he did get a couple of rides on the back put he did good at keeping up and holding his own. i feel so much better when i get my walks in. i usually only do about 2to 2and a half but i had a lot to think about this morning. i love my h but i don't know how much more of this i can take. it would be easier if my h would give me some hope that our m could work out but he says he is happy with his life with the ow. if that is true then am i fighting a losing battle? is there even a battle to fight for?
me-30 h-38 m-11 yrs s-6 s-7 ss-13 h left-april 21,2007 found out of ea april 1, 2007
