Thanks for taking the time to send me that info (how‘s the new practice going?), however, he’s pretty stubborn. A couple months back, when I still lived there, I both printed out and emailed him the info that you had sent me (this link, as well some other info you had sent regarding things the doctor should look for)….well, I don’t think he ever read the email, and the stuff I had printed out for him to bring with him to his doctor - well, let’s just say it’s probably still sitting on the counter where he left it. Shrug.
I ain’t his momma. LOL His health is his responsibility - (as is the rest of the matters in his life). There’s only so much I can do. Even when I was living there, I would make separate food for him -but, when he was out, I couldn’t stop him from buying the Twinkies…. You would think, after all his hospital stays, all the pain he has in his stomach - that he WOULD make some lifestyle & dietary changes…
Anyway - my friends wedding was this past weekend - I had a great time. Very, very nice. He was freaking out the whole weekend, constantly calling/texting me - he thought I was going to pick up someone or something…. Oh yeah - last week he sent me this email…before I went to the wedding…
“I'm very depressed that things are this way. I continuously go in a cycle NM, that I can not get out of. I know you dont want to hear me say this but....when you are gone, I miss you terribly, then when you are here, and I have nothing to do w/ her, that f*cks me up too. I really do love you but for some reason I'm so messed up, that things never work out.
Like right now, I wish she wasnt in my life so i could be w/ you. Then if that happens, something happens inside of me, that reverses it. That leads me to calling her too much, or bothering her, then when she comes back, I lose everything and miss you.
I need mental help, I know that. Theres not a day that goes by that I dont wish you all were back here, happy. If I could only overcome whats inside of me, I would be happy living my life w/ you Until then, I have to work this out on my own”
That, in a nutshell, is the crux of his problems. The endless cycles he cannot get out of. Oh yeah, then Saturday night, and Sunday - he left me messages both ending with ILY at the end of them. Shocked me, wasn’t expecting to hear that!! I had borrowed his car for the weekend (car vs. SUV, 3 hour drive - better gas mileage at $3.50 gallon!!)…When I returned the car, he was working so I left a note thanking him for the use and ended with “Love You”. I’ve been very cautious (I guess that’s the right word)….since his big revelation….
This weekend, he’s taking the kids Saturday/Sunday - he brought the travel trailer to his brothers 100 acres and invited me to hang out with them….I told him I would for a little while, that I would probably leave so that I didn’t intrude on his time with the kids, but maybe I would come back later in the evening. I’ll just wing it and see what happens.
