Do you think he is ready to re-commit to you? Truthfully no. I think he is starting to realize that the grass isn't greener, but right now is pride is in the way. He would have to admit to his family and friends he made a mistake in leaving me and divorcing me. And that would be VERY hard for him to do.
How would you handle it if you were to take the leap again, and he was unfaithful? He has never been unfaithful and I truthfully don't believe he would be. I think the bigger question is if I took that leap of faith and he left again. I would be heart broken, but I think it would be 3 times and he is out. I think if we started to work it out he made a commitment to me and then left again I think I would be done with him for good. I have been the one constant in his life. The one thing who loved him for who he is and not for what I can get from him. He is used by people. And I don't think he really believes he deserves to be loved for who he is. He has told me before that he was just waiting for everyone to decided that I was too good for him. I have told him before that it isn't anyone's decision but mine, and I think he is right for me. And everyone else can have their own opinions but mine is the only one that matters.
Do you think it will work out this time around? In my heart of hearts yes. I believe I am in a better place now to be able to handle the stresses of life better. He has been "on his own" for a while now and has seen an array of women and relationships and might realize that I am not that bad. I believe we will have our problems, as all couples do, but I think I will have better skills to deal more effectively with them. (I was under LOTS of stress from the time we got engaged until shortly before he left the 1st time, then then 2nd I was still somewhat dealing with the 1st time.) I am happier in my new job, I am making head way financially, and feel more confident in myself.
I just want to share it all with him.
He moves into his house in July. So maybe I will give it the summer. I will go to counseling try to make myself even stronger emotionally. That will give him an opportunity to be a REAL adult and be REALLY responsible for the same things I have taken care of on my own since he left. And maybe he will realize how nice it is to have someone else in the house with you.
I just want to snap my fingers and see the future for a min. and know that it all will be okay. That my faith will bring me through and that I will have the things I want most in this world, a child and my husband back.
Thanks for your questions! I just feel so crazy and stupid for continuing to hope that he will come back, all my friends remind me frequently. It is just so hard when you love someone so much and every tells you, you are crazy for loving him. At some points you start to wonder if you are. Thank you! R2
