Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
1
12_51 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
1
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
blackfoot - that's the attitude I was planning to have. I think I'm on the same page.

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
1
12_51 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
1
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
It's after 10pm where I'm at and I haven't heard back from my wife about our "dinner" plans for tomorrow night.

Last night she sounded like she wanted to go out with me. I think it's unlike her to not call to confirm when she said she would call or email today.

I'm not in a panic or even upset. I just find it odd. I am disappointed, but I can handle that.

If she doesn't call tonight should I call her? Call tomorrow? Just do nothing? Email her?

If she does call tomorrow, and it's after noon, should I say that I've already made other plans? I don't want her to think I'm her doormat.

Need advice....

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,174
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,174
Yeah, It's tricky because pursuit can seem needy but laying back is part of what contributed to your problem!

At this point I, and others will give you better advice, as a woman would recommend contacting her tomorrow morning with a direct, take charge call or e-mail about dinner plans "So I plan on picking you up (or meeting you, whatever you - 12_51 - want) at x time for dinner at y restaurant". Take charge and just assume she got busy and didn't have time to call. Don't assume the worst.

IF she declines, then just back off and regroup. DON'T start in on asking about Friday or Saturday. Take some time to regroup and be ready to go back and ask for another date in a strong manner.

Again I do not like game playing (too much time and energy trying to keep stories straight and you look weak if caught)so I recommend you start making plans with friends and acquaintances so you can honestly say you are busy.

Good Luck




But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,174
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 1,174
Oh and I like your new quotes!!




But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,237
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,237
I think that was excellent advice, fearless.

-NOPkins-


I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.

-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect.
-An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
1
12_51 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
1
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
Thanks for the advice!

I'll plan to do that...

Any ideas why she would not call or email today? Is she wanting to see if I'll pursue her? Is she playing games? What's going on in her head?

When we talked last night she said that "something" was going on tonight, but that tomorrow should be ok. She has always been able to call/email from work before. I think understanding why she would not call/email would be helpful.

Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,237
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,237
12_51 wrote:"Any ideas why she would not call or email today? Is she wanting to see if I'll pursue her? Is she playing games? What's going on in her head?"

Read some tea leaves. Only she knows, anything else is a guess. Did she have a reason, probably, but you will likely never know what it really was, even if she offers one. She has no compelling reason to tell you the truth.

-NOPkins-


I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.

-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect.
-An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
1
12_51 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
1
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
True it would only be a guess, but it still would be interesting to know why......

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,012
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,012
12_51,

I'm just going to flat-out say this....there are times you will not understand, and you will not get answers to your questions...you will be left in the dark. Don't waste your time pondering these situations. You will only end up confusing or frustrating yourself further and that leads to you second guessing yourself, which in turn often leads to unattractive/needy behavior, just make a plan and act on it.

It's not easy letting go and not having answers, but it's often necessary.


Well behaved women rarely ever make history!
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
1
12_51 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
1
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 240
I'm only "wondering" why ... not "having to know" why. It's different. At the beginning of all this I would felt that I had to know why. Now, I'm just curious. What's she fighting with in her mind? Why she would be so pleasant on the phone and say that she'd call/email and then not do it? Just curious...

Last edited by 12_51; 05/24/07 04:20 PM.
Page 5 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5