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Lisa
Nobody is here to judge your decisions.
Each one of us is in a different place.
You have to do what you feel is best for you and we all have been in that place that you are in right now.
(((hugs)))


There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
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ditto Lisa.

We want you to be happy.

Always.


Bomb 1/06
D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature.
Divorce final October 31, 2008.
OW looks like bad history. Over.
Still hopeful. Baby steps.
In R with my X.
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I second what BND says. You are doing what is right for you and that is all that is important. You are taking charge of your life and taking the best care you can of your kids.


Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.

bomb: Jan 25, 2006
not seen since
DD moved in with H - 9/1/08
H filed for divorce - 11/2008
Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010
still nothing
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Lisa,

A new baby and divorce at the same time is like mega high on the stress scale. Two huge, big things.

If you can, slow down--not for him, but for yourself. Get back on your feet. Be able to do this with a clear mind.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Thanks Guys- Thing is I think I am doing this with a vlear mind- I actually feel ;ike a burden has been lifted- I don't have to dangle around waiting for him to decide if I am worthy of him-which is exactly what is happening-I have nothing to prove to him- He is a giant ass- I have to do this for myself to feel better. I want this !!! He is not going to change EVER!!!

Thanks again guys.
Lisa


Me:37
H:38
6 kids
first bomb 8/05 (ow involved)
piecing 7/06
second bomb 3/07 ow involved
wash rinse repeat....
huge move to start over 2/11
more affairs
H left for good 8/12

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Lisa,
You might want to consider possible ways he will respond and what you will do.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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He will be so happy he doesn't have to do it- that is all

He could care less about this family or marriage, it will be a great relief for him


Me:37
H:38
6 kids
first bomb 8/05 (ow involved)
piecing 7/06
second bomb 3/07 ow involved
wash rinse repeat....
huge move to start over 2/11
more affairs
H left for good 8/12

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Posts: 4,071
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You are assuming you know what he feels and thinks.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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(((Lisa)))

First of all, of course I and others here will support you. Sugar, you have been through the wringer with this "man," and I know how much you agonized over this the first time around. You had thought of filing many months ago - this is not new.

Secondly, though, I think that you should not dismiss what Breton said too quickly, about both H's feelings and yours. Remember how he changed his mind last time? Could happen again. You are very vulnerable right now, with all those silly hormones swimming around inside you, and a brand new baby to take care of. If he does decide he wants to come back, what boundaries are you going to have in place to ensure that this DOES NOT HAPPEN again? How will you cope w/ the D and a new baby? Think practically, okay?

Never mind about being 31 with five kids - that is not the issue. The issue is whether or not you want this man in your life. Right now, you don't. If he changes, you might. Please don't let him take up too much of your precious thoughts and energy.

Love,
Nicola

Honey, we are here for you.


Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself
My thread: Trusting God's Plan
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I am letting him take toomuch time and energy and I am not strong enough to stop it.

Thanks Nicola and everyone else- You know so what if he changes his mind- he has showed me how fast he can change it again and want out. I can't live like that. I really hate this is it for our M but I feel it is necessary.

A for his feelings he really doesn't care - his actions show that. His words may say hey give me time I care but his actions say otherwise. I can't do this anymore- It is making me insane!!! I can't seem to focus on anything else. I tried to stand, I even tried to read everything again and start over but my heart is not in it anymore


I am too broken right now-


Love,Lisa


Me:37
H:38
6 kids
first bomb 8/05 (ow involved)
piecing 7/06
second bomb 3/07 ow involved
wash rinse repeat....
huge move to start over 2/11
more affairs
H left for good 8/12

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