Hiya Bridget! Just passing thru and I really connected with your comments about sharing one phone line with your h. Man was this a sore spot with me with my H some months ago! My H has been working a second job out of our home for the past year. He has a seperate business line for that. All was fine until he started insisting that his friends, relatives, etc call him on his business line instead of our home number. I was puzzled and hurt at the time and didn't understand why.
After having the "spiel" given to me back in september and then a "recommittment" from him recently his business line is still very important for him for his personal calls too. The only thing that makes sense to me is that is his way of having his "space". My MLC H is not having an affair (he attempted an EA 5 months ago via email with his female boss. That has seemed to come to a dead end) but his MLC is demanding a lot of personal space for him. Apparantly this includes the telephone. So I am picking my battles carefully here.
My H uses his business phone a lot and he is unpreturbed if I am in the office while he is using it ( even with his conversations with his female boss). And yeah I've been there and done that with checking his answering machine and last number dialed thing, I am ashamed to admit. The bottom line for me was and is that his actions towards me are matching his talk. At some point I have decided to trust him again. Not unconditionally yet but as time goes on and his actions are speaking louder than his previous words I am allowing myself to step out on a limb and extend trust to him. For me it has been hard to say that it is only a phone line. There were other deeper issues for me about him that I have had to deal with. I am trying to "pick my battles carefully".
Thumbs up to your positive mental attitude girl!! You are hanging in there and whatever support you need we are here for you!! <<<HUGS>>>
