It is funny because I do start to feel stronger when I am not my H for a while. When I spend time with him, I feel like my strength gets drained. After I spend time with my H, I get depressed and it takes me a few hours to snap out of it. I only start to get my strength back when I feel like I am taking control of MY situation. I would just like to know how to be steady and in control of me (at least most of the time), even before, during and after I spend time with my H.
I think it's great that you are exhibiting strength and composure during this whole trial. I just read a post earlier about Going Dark which might help you, too.
Try not to beat yourself up about this too much. Hang in there!
