He takes the kids..you do something for YOU! friends...spa....massage...something! Remember he baits you. Stop analyzing. Give him space....yeah mine after 3 months thought OW was soulmate, love of his life...blah blah blah even tho we had been together 25 yrs. Thats what they do and it hurts sweets to the very core of our being.
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Mimi This is just the begining, honey you have a very long way to go.
There are a few rules you need to follow.
1. Keep your mouth shut. Do not allow him to bait you into a fight.Buy duct tape if you need to.
2. Do not discuss your marital problems with your family or his. Do not vent to your Husband, bring your crap here, to this board.
3. The next few years are going to seem like an eternity if you choose to stand. Use your time wisely. Work on your own issues. Work on you. Take up a hobby.
4. Your Husband will go through many different moods in a single day. This is about him. Do not try to fix the beast. Just let him be.
When he is being nice and kind, respond in the same manner. Do not play head games. Do not snoop. Do not involve the kids. Do not begin dating.
The list goes on and on. Most of all, take care of yourself, eat and excercise and do things to keep you happy.
(((((hugs)))))
Faith
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
My husband has started to talk to his parents again. It seems like it is pretty regular lately. These are the times that I think he is not going through a MLC. He had stopped talking to them through the begining.
What should I do about the Family Therapist? He said he would go so we could learn to get along for the children. Should I consent to go or do you think it will be a waste of time.
Mimi
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
My H called me late last night and sounded very down. He asked about if the kids were ok and how I was. I asked him if he was ok because he sounded very bad. He said he just missed the kids a lot and he started to cry. After about 5 minutes he said he had to go.
I am very concerned about him. So I called him back to make sure he was ok. I told him that he sounded not good and I wanted to check on him. Then I let him go (less than 1 minute of talk).
About 5 minutes later he called me back and he said "Thank you" "Thank you for caring, I will talk to you tomorrow".
Is this just a "trick" or not.
mimi
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
Mimi, I really don't think it is a trick. MLCers feel unloved and you may have given him a little boost of self-esteem when you showed him you cared. This is a positive baby step.
