I am an "on and off" poster here. I hope that will not keep anyone from giving me advice.
My XH and I have been seperated for almost a year and a half. We are coming up on our one year anniversary of being divorced. (Not one I will be celebrating.) We have maintained a physical realationship for over a year. He has thrown his hat in the dating pool several times, he has thrown it back in recently. As many times as he has "cast" his line he hasn't caught anything.
And I am to the point where I want to tell him that I love him. I want to tell him all the things I know I did wrong and how I can see how that made him feel (I am not taking responsibility for the failure of the marriage just acknowledging my role.)
He has searched for over two years (we were seperated once before) for someone else and has come up with nothing. And I want to approach the issue of us trying again. I know it would be hard. He wouldn't want to admit that he was wrong and that maybe he made a mistake to everyone, but in my heart I know we are meant to be together.
I miss him terribly. I miss seeing him everyday. I miss sharing things with him. I miss holding him. I miss being the one he turns to.
Is there ever a right time to bring up that issue? Or is there ever a good way to bring it up?
I am just scared of saying anything to him for fear he will run and never talk to me again. Yet on the flip side I need to do something for my own self. My personal life has been on hold for the past year. I am not dating, and I can't until I am 100% that we will never get back together. I want to move my personal life forward. I want to move it forward with him, but if that isn't an option then I really need to do some work to get beyond this point and be ready to accept spending my life with someone else.
But I feel like I will never be 100% sure unless I ask. I have been a "good" DB. I don't bring up the past, I don't talk about our realationship/marriage. I have just let things be. I have tried to be supportive of him. But I just am at a point where I need to take a path. And I scares the livinig daylights out of me to even try to approach him on the subject.... but... it needs to be done sometime, b/c I want kids (I am 30) and I can't wait forever.
