Choc, Hey there. Well, you got a response from her which is what you were after..how authentic or reliable it is remains to be seen. So I wouldn't place too much importance on it. You did a 180 and confronted a stressful situation and I hope it bears fruit for you. If not, oh well. One email will not end the world or your marriage. Perhaps you can keep an eye on things and assess whether it is worth repeating or not.
I wouldn't expect, at this point, that your W will want to participate in any way in the M or its repair. She's doing her own thing right now, as painful and selfish as that is. I'm sorry that you are going through that madness and frustration--I can't imagine what it feels like.
For the record, when I want something from my H (mostly attention) I ignore him. Historically, this is what I've done and how I inflict the most damage on him. (note that I haven't done this in longer than I can remember, I'm just giving you a peek into the diabolical female brain) Even if I didn't want something from him, but just wanted to make a point, I'd freeze him out. I'm like the Anti-Nag. I share this, I guess, to make a point that sometimes silence and freeze-outs mean something and sometimes they really don't. Maybe she's freezing you out because she no longer loves you and maybe she's doing it because she's a miserable human being and wants to have freedom to screw around. And I don't necessarily mean with any alleged OM....she's screwing around, if you ask me, by focusing too much on her appearance and letting the house go and tons of other signs that indicate that she's not playing with a full deck. Oh yeah, and OM too. All of these are escapes and right now you are the bad guy. She's making mental notes of what bothers you and storing it in her box of Marital Ammo. That's what I'd do anyway.
I'll tell you what MrH did one time that nipped it: He left the house and stayed gone all day, instead of hovering around me like a patient and loving lapdog ready to get shellacked with more of my ice. He came home late that night and I tried SO hard to not shout Where have you been?? but it only lasted for about 2 minutes, no joke. I *had* to know. The gall of that man to give me a taste of my own medicine! lol He had gone hiking and gone heaven knows how far.
Anyway, I guess what I am saying is that I admire you for reaching out to her but don't continue to reach for a person who aint there. Make sure she knows that you are trying to engage her and then take your party elsewhere. You are such a nice man..a real catch..no sense downplaying your worth right in front of her, kwis? If you take her baloney and pretend not to notice that she's icing you out, she loses respect. Otoh if you get mad at her, it pushes her away. I think you should confidently acknowledge that she's not being all that appealing right then (in other words, of course, lol) and go off and do something SO un-choc that it shakes her up a bit.
And please. Listen to NOP and not me. LOLOL
I really don't know what I'm talking about but I value your friendship and wanted to let you know that the freezeouts do not signify that she's done. If she was, she'd be out of there. She's trying to get a reaction from you and succeeding quite well.
