Wow Choc! This is a great reply from Mrs Choc. This is should really be music to your ears. She is not saying she wants to blow off the M - she has a sense of her responsibilities and a sense of family and of history with you. She just wants to grow as a person and that's great. The old saying "if you love someone let them go" is very true in your sitch. That is what you MUST do.
Before I read as far as her reply I was thinking of saying to you that you should not push her for honesty. Honesty is not something she is really able to give you right now. In the worst case scenario (which I don't think this is) the honest answer might be "I'm completely done with this M". Now that is not something she will ever say until she really is done with the M. If she feels like there is a 0.5% of a chance that she is not done with the M then she cannot be honest about feeling done.
There is honesty that you really can't be honest about if you want to keep a R intact.
But now you have her reply and it is clear that she is not done with the M. She's as confused as you are Choc.
This is a hard road you are travelling and I feel for you. Take care
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
