And honestly, I am still having trouble trying to figure out why the Cs say you are not codependent. There does seem to be some of that at work here.
I probably should not have worded my previous response to you the way I had. I went back to look at my journaling (this was from 5 years ago) and this is what I had written that particular counselor had said. I was talking to him about good groups and good books on co-dependency .. wanting him to give me suggestions .. and he told me that even though there may be some co-dependency coming in to play in my situation .. he did not want me to start reading books or going to groups on it, 'cause he thought it would do me more damage than good. (??)
This puzzles me .. now, just as much as it must you. Cause if you read up on co-dependency, I believe I could be "classic".
I am wondering if he may have said this because of how hard I was trying to save our M .. and he knew that groups or books like this would not "help" in our M situation..?
This was ALSO during a time that I had kicked my H out for cheating .. so maybe he thought that I was not "co-dependent" because I was responding with what he considered as "appropriate" actions ... ?
The $$ that my H is spending is from refinancing that we have done 9 months ago. This was $$ that was supposed to be spent on finishing our home (so that we could sell it) and help us continue paying our mortgage until we do sell it.
Well, the refi money is almost gone (again) and he is advocating that we refinance once again!
Yes, H has gone to counselors .. several throughout the years. There was only one that really did any good for him. That one, (I believe) got too close to his problems (for comfort) 'cause he quit going entirely.
