I can soooo understand where she's coming from in much of what she says and personally, I think she communicated beautifully with you in her response.
I know that feeling of being lost like she's going through, of never really knowing who "I" am, I think this is something she's struggling with. I went from my parents house, to my 1st marriage, almost right into my 2nd marriage. When I left my 2nd marriage I didn't know how to be GEL, I didn't know who I was because I had been so busy being someone else's wife or daughter, but never just GEL.
You know this new exploration of hers could be a really good thing for your marriage, and a way for you two to grow together as well....if you can be supportive of her in it (not assuming you aren't either), to the extent of course there are no other men involved.
Oh and FWIW, I don't think the e-mail you sent was a bad idea at all....it resulted in some valuable information.
