To get back to the subject, has your wife read the e-mail yet and responded in any way??
FWIW whether it was a "mistake" or not is a moot point now and I am interested to hear how she will respond. Regardless of a response or lack of response you WILL learn something.
Also while I think having your wife, at the least, and family go with you to your dad's b-day would be best, I think it is absolutely the right thing to do!! Unless your family has ever been a problem for your marriage, I would never question your decision to go to your dad's 80th birthday.
What I will question is the $$ for a tummy tuck and bmw (?) and then lack of $$ for the whole family to visit your parents. But that is my own value system and I acknowledge that is my own personal bias.
Also there is an intensity and emotion in your past 2 (or 3) threads that I had not noticed before. Good for you.
Good luck
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
