Working on building trust

[butterflymom]

Just got back from a MC session today. It went well. There were a couple of things that H said that I thought you might like to know. Probably the most important thing that stuck out in my mind was him talking about my new independence.

He said something along the lines of "Having BFM say that she doesn't need me to be happy was a real eye opener. Having her look at me and tell me that she was happy with who she was as a person and that she wanted me in her life as a husband and father and lover, but that she didn't NEED me in her life to be happy was a good thing. I could tell she meant it and it was a refreshing change from the way she used to be and I like her new found independence. She pulled on some strength within her that I didn't know she had and that was a very attractive thing to me."

When he said it, I thought to myself, "that is the basic core of divorce busting right there. That stuff really does work."

I think our counselor is amazed at some of the deep stuff we've discussed on our own already. Last night we got into the whole discussion of H missing the OW and told the C about it today and I think she was amazed that we were able to discuss it without losing our cool (or without me losing MY cool I guess I should say).

I just wanted you to know that independence is ATTRACTIVE to men. They need to know you can live without them.