Hey, can I ask my wife to see Pirates of the Caribbean III with me this weekend?
You are kidding...right? The best thing you could do is be respectful, calm, assured, confident, strong!
LOL, yes. See the post I snuck in right above yours. Thanks for the post though, I appreciate all comments on this. I'm still a bit hesitant about what to do. I know it'll all come together at the meeting, but right now I'm anxious.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Thanks for the laugh, JR! Your sense of humor tells me that you're gonna be just fine! Don't stress!
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
Be on your best behavior young man. Like some of the posts above, do not go with high expectations, if any at all. Do not try to talk about you, her, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.... Do all show, no talk. She will see some of those changes and hopefully she will then want to see more of them or if they are for real.
Good luck !
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
OK, so for those of you who have been through this with WAS's, what's the best way to show changes without doing a lot of talking? I'm like, "what if I don't get another chance to talk to her?" With the TPO keeping me from contacting her, I'm at her beck and call. So just go with the flow? I know I've told others that, but they had some contact with their spouse. I can't even e-mail or text her or anything.
I guess that's part of patience, eh?
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
Yep, go with the flow. Be in a good mood, act as if nothing wierd is going on, yeah it is hard. If nothing else, be you, the new you.I do not know if Jodi told you the same thing as me, but one of her questions to me was I in it for the long haul, and could I do it at whatever pace W does this, I thought for a second before I answered. The answer was yes, it will be hell if she drags it on to long, but for now, the answer is yes and I will take every bit of good as I can, with realizing it will probably be the good ole 3 steps forward, 2 steps back for quit some time. I love my W, and if this is what is meant to happen, so be it. I still believe it is going to work out. I believe you love yours just as much, so it is only "you" who can decide if this DB'ing is for you and the time it probably will take. I will have good thoughts for you two.
Good Luck
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
She's in our house (until it sells, then she'll go to her parents' house I'd guess). I'm at my parents' place about 15 minutes away. Nice huh? 35 and living with mom and dad. At least they're cool about it.
Dude the only thing worse is being 41 and living with your parents. At that I live in the basement now. They just finished renovating it into a master/in law suite. They leave tomorrow for their vacation house and won't be back until October or later. So I do have the house to myself the a good while. Still I am in my parent's house, the house I grew up in. At least I am not in my old room with the old furniture!
Oh to answer the question about how to show her when you aren't together. Man it took me forever to see the forest for the trees on this one. Simple it's all in your attitude and behavior. If you act like you are happy, in charge of your life and yourself and moving on, guess what, they take notice!
Last edited by catfan; 05/24/0703:28 AM.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
Catfan, did you have some significant time away from your wife? How was the first meeting after that time? Was she still pretty adamant about the D? How did she act, stand-offish or nice? I just hope to get meeting #2 sometime inside the next 2 months again with our church leader, and I hope things progress instead of stagnating. But, as they say, time is on our side!
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
