I just scanned your thread quickly. Two things I think you already know:
(1) "I do not feel like I have a lot to offer, that's the truth of it. I never have. And YES EVERYONE I know that's a problem. That's why I've spent years in therapy, and yet still...it doesn't go away."
You KNOW this is about internalizing H's rejection. You are a wonderful person with TONS to offer. Indeed, you offer quite a bit to many just by posting to these boards. Don't let H's rejection of you that traces to his own problems define your value.
You are of infinite value in and of yourself, with wonderful gifts of love to offer someone who fits into your life properly.
(2) Listen to Althea, especially on the anger business. She's said quite a bit of what I'd tell you, but with a great deal more tact than I am able to muster. (I think the genetic lottery gave all the tact to my sister.)
((((((((((((((Nicola)))))))))))))))) Major hugs. Life will be great for you, one way or another. I can see it in you -- you WILL get to a wonderful life on the other side, whatever it may be. You are NOT one to get mired in years of stuckness. Really.
The most important step in getting to the other side right now is to focus on yourself and getting honest with yourself about the M and what you want from a P in the future.
I don't really feel like posting on my own thread, but I'll just say that I'm doing well.
Okay, I'll say more!
H had dinner w/ the kids yesterday, and I was able to see him and just not let it get to me.
He leaves tomorrow for his little getaway, but it isn't bothering me so much anymore. I got a DVD from Disney for planning our holiday there, and now I am SO EXCITED!!! So H is going to Clearwater, so what? My granny went there for years and years, lol! I get to take my kids to DISNEY WORLD!!!
I hope that S5 can go on some good rides. He's pretty small.
I had a really nice morning. I went swimming w/ S5's daycare, and S5 showed me how he can swim w/ a noodle by himself! He was so proud of himself, and *I* got to see it! As we were walking over to the pool, he picked a dandelion and blew it. I thought about what precious moments these are, and how lucky I am to share them.
Last night, I read to my D10. She asked for another chapter, so I read an extra one and she was so happy, she kissed my arm a bunch of times! Again, such a lovely moment.
It's not easy being the one to fix breakfast, make lunches, do laundry, keep the house (sorta) tidy. But my children, when they are older, will remember that. And it is a priviledge to be able to take care of them. So many mothers around the world have to worry about how they will feed their children, or if they will be alive at the end of the day. I am SO LUCKY!
Now, I just have to hold on to this feeling!
Love, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
It's not easy being the one to fix breakfast, make lunches, do laundry, keep the house (sorta) tidy. But my children, when they are older, will remember that. And it is a priviledge to be able to take care of them.
There is so much power and strength in that Nicola and you are 100% right--we are the lucky ones.
That's what I mean Nicola, focus on the good things in your life that you are so grateful for. You know the rest. You sound good.
I'm so excited for you re: the Disney trip. Although I've been there twice, it has been a while, okay a long while. You can never really get enough of Disney World.
Life is "grate".
Hugs, ISLH
Me: 49 - S22 & S26 H: 41 - No kids M: 10/00 Bomb New Year's Day 2006 H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07 D final 07/07 Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
Have you recoverd from the waxing episode? I read your posts on Althea's thread and remembered a thread from awhile back. Took me awhile to find it and when I went back the thread was locked. Anyway, hopefully you enjoy this;
Wax on!?
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal – The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now... the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids.
I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your le g (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I ! get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the was strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out... must stay conscious... Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.
I touch.
I am touching wax.
CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door.
Vagina? Sealed shut!
Butt? Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I Can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and The wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of The tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold Wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation Starter "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for Removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to Know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?"
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the Rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the Wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair.... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE....... ALL OF IT!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week, I'm going to try hair color...... **************************************************************
If this hasn't lifted your spirits today Lord help you're soul. The first time I read this I laughed out loud, my eyes had tears ... and I was alone!
That was too funny. It actually reminds me of something that really happened at work.
One of the male Directors was trying to tell some of us women how difficult it is to arrange a golf tournament with 12 guys who call themselves the Dirty Dozen. We, of course tell him that it's because a woman isn't organizing it. Men are simply not made out to organize any event (sorry guys, Jeff, Frank_D, FIB, DonH and other, as much as I love you guys, it's true).
So, we were challenged to organize a woman's golf tornament but we must have 12 women sign up and we must obtain donations for prizes so that everyone wins something. We were up for the challenge. The bet - we get to wax one of his legs Being the macho guy that he is and thinking that we were not going to find 12 women to play golf, he accepted the bet.
Working for a third party provider for a mutual fund software company, we have many clients. Well, not only did we get donations from many of our clients, we got 16 women signed up to play.
To celebrate the event, we went to a restaurant in the business district and we brought the wax strips with us. We had the pleasure of waxing the male Director's leg. Ouch! What a sport he was to go through with the bet. He then admitted, he will never doubt that a women can do anything she wants to if she is motivated enough. It was one of the best events we ever put on.
I hope you had a great weekend.
Hugs, ISLH
Last edited by I_Still_Love_Him; 05/28/0701:44 AM.
Me: 49 - S22 & S26 H: 41 - No kids M: 10/00 Bomb New Year's Day 2006 H living w OW 01/07; have baby 12/07 D final 07/07 Thread #9 - Hope Lives On
You can never really get enough of Disney World.
What a sport he was to go through with the bet. He then admitted, he will never doubt that a women can do anything she wants to if she is motivated enough. It was one of the best events we ever put on.