You are in a short term M with a man who has cheated and taken advantage of your financially for most of it. I certainly understand your frustration and disappointment -- you do not have a romantic partner, a life partner, or even a decent friend in your H. No, he is not your best friend -- he lies and cheats. That is not what friends do to each other.
You are right that a big part of the problem is your avoidance of confrontation. Until you set boundaries and enforce them, you will not have a successful M with ANYONE.
So, you may as well start there. Get your money back that you took out of your savings. Make sure your finances are disentangled. Figure out what your boundaries are and enforce them. If you want respect, you'll have to start by treating YOURSELF with a bit of respect.
He either needs to step up and be a partner that you want to be in an M with or you need to exit the M. But, give him a fair shot by confronting him directly on the make or break issues. Take responsibility for your own happiness and quit trying to mother/rescue H.
As for God and religion and what they would tell you to do, you are asking the wrong person. Enough said on that point.
