Well went to the lawyer yesterday. It's a real shame that should D become a reality, the loss to our family financially is so much. I also dislike the fact that I might be forced to give her financial support (she has a good paying job, mine is higher) despite my viewpoint that her PA has drawn us to this point.

Anyway I need time to digest the reality and requirements of the law.

W and I had a good talk last night. We need to continue talking.

I have a individual counseling appt after work today with a new counselor. I hope that this will help. I need to take the time to discuss my own wants and needs. I don't want to go forward unless we are each able to address all of the difficulties in our marriage. I feel if we don't make a committment to take these steps we are still doomed.
I feel W has some MLC issues to sort through. I hope with my heart that she is able to. It is a lot of work, I am so fearful that she will not be able to complete couselling, as happened in the previous two sessions.

Anyway tonight my goal is to find out if the counselor is any good. If she is, I hope to begin to get emotionally centered. I hope to also reaffirm the needs I have within the marriage, so that I can be firm on them, and not sweep them to the side, hoping things will work.

This is an opportunity to fix the relationship, but it needs to be repaired completely not patched. Bandages are not going to work at this point.

IS 49 W 47 S 21 D 19 S 16
M 24y Together 31y
EA Mar04-May 06
PA Feb06-Jun06 EA May07
Bomb Dec 28 07

Footfalls echo in the memory, down the passage which we did not take, towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden.
T. S. Eliot