Mrs. Choc. and I not showing -- and communicating -- our feelings to each other is what got us into this mess.
And the few times we did -- about once every 3-4 years -- the mistake we made was in letting it die, and not communicating our hurt and our anger with each other, and instead stewing in resentment.
Not facing those things, head-on, is what got us here. And for 3 years, you all told me to STOP AVOIDING all that unpleasantness, and DEAL WITH IT. To "LET HER KNOW!"
All these theories say to "let them know ONCE," and then back off. I've never shared with you all here very much detail, at all, about my wife's an my prior "The Talk"s and "bombs." They all had one thing in common, and it was NOT the lack of initial confrontation.
It was the lack of not enforcing the boundary, once it was established.
I may have not done this perfectly, but I'm trying to avoid our mistakes of the past. I saw the same old scenes starting to be played out again, and me, sitting there stewing in resentment. I'm NOT going down that road again!!!
This may not work, but if I err on any given day, it will be -- as the great business book "Built to Last" calls the attribute of great companies -- a "bias to action."
