To be honest (and I know I'm in a bit of a "fog" right now), this all seems like just so much bullchit to me. All this "FOO" stuff, and "self-soothing," and "placating" and "enmeshment" and "leading behavior" and "acting as-if."
Good lord, did marriages not ever survive before self-help books???
I am NOT going to send her mushy song lyrics, I'm NOT going to beg her to love me, and I'm NOT going to beg her to even tell me how she feels about me. But I am also NOT going to not call her on her bullcrap when she pulls it, and I'm not going to sit idly by while she does NOTHING to even take the first baby steps to try and save our marriage.
If I'm gonna go, I'm not gonna go quietly.
She will know how I feel, she will be reminded of some of the realities that she's not competently consisdering right now, but needs to (like do some research on the pain and financial pain of divorce, for example), and then she will be left to make her own decisions. While she does that, I will do my best to be a better person, get my house (literally) in order, my yard in order, my body in order, and my leadership role within my family in order. I will work on ME.
But I'm also going to make my requests known of what I expect from HER, which I think are actually very modest, don't you?
Quote:
Hey! Lama! How about a little somethin', y'know, for the EFFORT." (Carl Spackler, "Caddyshack")
