I answered you. I dont have to explain. The fact that you attributed it to manipulation and control, tells me you dont understand what I was saying. If I see someone here who could benefit from my explaining that issue, I will.
SG
The first thing that is annoying, is I deleted my misquote from Rhett, in my initial post. oh well. It would have been fun to steal your thunder, but instead Im over here going "GDit, BF, always trust your gut."
I worry for the girl who matters, Me too. and who'll bash her head against that brick wall you call your principles, why will she do that? Because that's inevitably what will happen. Why?
You believe they must be placated, UMMM. have you been paying attention? Your technique is excellant, Im sure its quite effective for you normally, but if you want to hang in there, and keep my attention, your going to have to remain in reality. In my world truth is truth. There is none of this my version, your version, tell them what their version is.
and lead, care to differ?
and kept from vaccillating all over the map sounds enmeshed. Should I be? Ill tell you x used to grit her teeth and say 'your so fcking pysch healthy, I want to scream.' that was confusing but I think I get it now. I didnt understand that, but she was being honest. Honesty is allways respectable.
I also think that you cling to that explanation because it's a really convenient "out" for any responsibility you might have for the break-up, and you will subconsciously seek to re-create it in your next relationship, for if she proves you wrong you would
a) either really have made a stupid choice last time (can't have that)
or
b) actually learned something that helps keep this R on track, which means your actions probably also contributed to what happened in your previous R. (Especially can't have that)
Hmmmm. you said you have been here for a long long time, and I believe it, but the above is not the truth. a) I really fcked up last time. Ive said it a million times. I wasnt protective. I mistakenly thought a marriage *should* be differant then attraction. Thats why my intitial response was atypical for for the first couple months. I didnt know what protective was in a M. I didnt know Jealousy was a good thing. Of course if a M is just attraction... b) I took my portion, but I didnt do it perfect. I came here and didnt look elsewhere untill the D was finalized. I have picked the ladies brains extensively to make sure I bring it to my conscious, so that it doesnt happen again.
This is actually a really mature statement, and it gives me more hope than anything else you've said. Well since I have never aspired to be, and have no interest in being 'mature' youll have to give me some other carrot to encourage me. Thats not my reason. Reminds me when I would taunt the girls in school, and the would finally say something like 'Your SOoooo Immature.' Snort. they were the one arguing/ hitting and getting annoyed with someone 4 years younger. LOL. But no woman on the face of the planet will always "chose you" no matter how much you abandon her emotionally.
Whats a reasonable expectation for this? I mean, I expect her to have several if not, many, other attractions in a life time. I know I will. I expect and accept the emotional abandonment that will come with her life and our situational changes. If I need 'space' how long would be reasonable to be able to receive said necessary 'space', without betrayal, and infidelity?
Find one that's smart, has some life experience, and is willing to work on her relationship. Then go amd make her happy. You can, you know Oh I know. For a while at any rate. The burden of 'making' her receives what compensation though? Im not so sure about smart anymore, though. I get my smart woman fix here, and I dont think Im quite up to it. Opposites attract you know, and nature has her reasons. I was thinking someone mute, too.
Don't patronize her. If you do, she'll kick your a$$ before leaving. *extremely friendly smile*
You know whats sexier then a pissed off woman? A pissed off woman with a brilliant smile on her face. It just spells all kinna trouble. Seriously, leaving, I can handle. She deserves to be won back once in a while. Betrayal, will not be tolerated, because the wall will be well marked. If she seeks to test my boundary, and find if my caring for her exceeds my boundary edge, (like they seem to do for some reason) she will be sadly... (or maybe not)... extremely, mistaken.
Mr and Mrs. NOP.
Get a room allready. Sheesh. All that lovey dovey stuff. Dont you know this is a marriage board? Highly irregular, you know.
