Heartbroken, I agree with Lin. WAS coming home is not sure if it will ever work. One of the reasons he left was that he didn't think it would work.
My H's words exactly when he stormed out of the house 2 weeks after he had come back: "I knew it wouldn't work!" - he came back 20 mins later...
They need a lot of time, lots of it!! I tried to resist asking H if he was really there to stay, because I didn't know what he'd answer. When I did ask, he just said, what kind of a question is that.
My H could not handle talk about my feelings. He was so immersed in his own misery. Once I asked him, what about my needs for affection, he said: get a boyfriend (!!). I was of course hurt and thought I must be crazy to continue this for a minute. But I'm so glad I didn't give up! But I did learn to avoid ALL R talk.
Looking back I can see it was his depression talking. Little by little things got better. But it can take months! I'm convinced that there is only one way to speed it up, and that is leaving the depressed be, being there as a friend, not demanding anything. That's what worked for us.
