What's going on in her head? Anyone?

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, here's how your W is probably feeling. Not sure how old she is or how old your kids are and I don't have time to go back & read right now, but here's what I would say: Yes, she probably does have low self-esteem, no self-confidence, etc. right now. She's probably feeling like a lot of us -- I'm just a mom (maybe even working) and WHO THE H*LL AM I ANYMORE??!! What happened to the person I was when we got married? That's a very HARD question to answer and a very HARD sitch to work through. I don't know if you H's understand (really) all of this, but it's something like this: we end up being the mom, taking care of a lot of things around the house, maybe working or maybe not and we LOSE OUR SELF in that. And then when we try to figure out who we are and want some sort of ME and not mommy to surface, that's not an easy task. Weight comes into the issue whether you think it's a problem or not. All of this rolled up into our brain is a very hard thing to tackle. We say yeah GAL, but w/ the kids, etc., etc., that's not easy to do. Sometimes we've let go of all of our outside friends b/c it's not easy to get out and DO.

I wouldn't SAY anything to her about the sex, cuddling, etc. You go ahead & keep making the efforts and she will appreciate this and hopefully come to the point where she is ready to put in her efforts. BUT until (if this is even where she is at and I could be way off) she starts learning to love herself again, it's going to be hard for her.

Learning to love ourself again and learning to figure out who we are these days takes a lot of thinking and feeling and figuring out what to do to find some sort of self beyond being mom, wife, etc.